Contents
How to Win Friends book summary
1-Sentence-Summary: How To Win Friends And Influence People teaches you countless principles to become a likable person, handle your relationships well, win others over and help them change their behavior without being intrusive. Read in: 4 minutes Favorite quote from the author: This self-help classic, published even one year before Think And Grow Rich, in 1936, has sold over 15 million copies throughout the 80 years it’s been in print. This book has surely shaped behavioral psychology the way we know it today, as it reads like an instruction manual on how you can be more liked by others, get them to do favors for you and even change their behavior under your influence,
You can make a great first impression just by smiling. To be interesting to others, talk about their favorite topic: themselves. If you want to convince people, get them to say yes a lot.
Ready to become a master of influence? Rock and roll!
How many principles are in How to Win Friends and Influence People?
Dale Carnegie’s 30 Principles To Win Friends & Influence People.
Is it worth reading how do you win friends?
One of my readers recently asked me this: “I just finished Carnegie’s ‘How To Win Friends and Influence People,’ and I wanted to ask for your experience with this book. I ask you this because I really want to know how to improve my social skills. I’m in my 20’s and I really want to make friends.
- Social anxiety is a thing in my life but I’m really looking forward to getting through it.” Dale Carnegie’s book was published in 1936—more than 80 years ago! It’s been reissued and edited over the years, but the content has been mostly the same.
- Is this “old” book’s advice still relevant in today’s age of social media, multitasking, and social pressure? Before I share my experience with the advice from How to Win Friends and Influence People, I want to stress that I think it’s a great book.
And it’s definitely worth reading. But it also contains some outdated advice. Particularly in the “Six Ways to Make People Like You” section of the book. I’ll list them down below and explore what I’ve seen work (or not) in the present day.
Is How to Win friends easy to read?
How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie: Book Review I n a memorable chapter of Helen Fielding’s novel Bridget Jones’s Diary, Bridget is at a rubbish party and wonders how all the stuck-up guests are so self-confident. She quips in an hilarious line: “probably because they’ve never read a self-help book in their life.” Jokes aside, ‘self-help’ is not a genre in which I’ve had much experience over the years, and it’s usually not one into which I delve.
- There is however definitely something about How To Win Friends and Influence People that makes it stand out from the crowd.
- Perhaps it’s the fact that over 30 million copies have been sold worldwide, making it one of the bestselling books of all time (which few self-help books can boast), or that it’s often cited in lists of ‘Best Books About Leadership’, or (perhaps most notably) that it was one of the first to ambitiously entitle itself, “How To + “.
It’s clear to see the widespread appeal, especially as many successful figures swear by it (including It’s A Wonderful Life-actress Donna Reed).86 years post-publication, I decided to see what the fuss was about. I was pleasantly surprised. We may have just found an exception to Bridget’s rule.
- The book is not only extremely easy reading, but also contains some very astute tips.
- To be clear, Carnegie is not nearly as childish or manipulative as the title seems (‘winning friends’) but rather strives to make his reader a genuinely better person.
- His overall argument is that we change others’ behaviour by changing our own.
We should listen to others, allow them to properly talk, and always endeavour to see their perspective. He also, very interestingly, advises against any form of overt criticism as it wounds the recipient’s pride. Rather, he suggests ‘a little tact and diplomacy’, being ‘hearty with our approbation and lavish in our praise’ on the elements that genuinely deserve it and using that as anaesthetic for suggestions to improve.
- And most importantly, always using ‘and’, not ‘but’.
- For example, saying to your child, “your grades have been brilliant this year, and if you improve on Maths you’ll be cruising!”, rather than ‘your grades have been good but that will all go to pot unless you do something about Maths’).
- Such a summary cannot do the book ultimate justice but let it suffice that it is probably worth reading.
That’s not to say it is perfect. While the above philosophy works beautifully in some situations, his application of it to others can feel uncomfortable. In one anecdote he tells, the supposed ‘exemplary’ influencer awards his child with a dollar per completed chore, whilst threatening to take away a dollar per uncompleted chore.
I had always believed that bargaining and petty threats were a poor and largely ineffective parenting tactic. Carnegie, however, was a parent – and I am not – so maybe he’s right. Who knows? That said, it is extremely refreshing to hear of an advice book that promotes human connection and deeper understanding of our peers, as opposed to the typical ‘self-empowerment’ manifestos.
Carnegie doesn’t advocate being a pushover. He instead argues that confrontation is unnecessary because with these techniques, the other person will already be on your side. A little utopian? Difficult to practise 24/7? Absolutely. Worth reading still and implementing when you can? Definitely.
What are Dale Carnegie’s principles
Dale Carnegie’s Principles: – At the heart of Carnegie’s book are his six core principles for building strong relationships. These principles include: showing genuine interest in others, smiling, remembering names, being a good listener, being sincere, and avoiding arguments,
- By incorporating these principles into your daily life, you can improve your relationships with others and make a positive impact.
- Everybody in the world is seeking happiness—and there is one sure way to find it.
- That is by controlling your thoughts.
- Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions.
- It depends on inner conditions.” – Dale Carnegie Dale Carnegie’s Life: Dale Carnegie was born in 1888 and passed away in 1955, but his legacy lives on through his classic book.
Although not related to industrialist Andrew Carnegie, Dale Carnegie’s name has become synonymous with self-help and personal development. Through his book and speaking engagements, he inspired millions of people around the world and continues to do so today.
When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.” – Dale Carnegie Dale Carnegie’s Favorite Books: Dale Carnegie was a voracious reader and had a love for books that covered a wide range of genres, including Shakespeare, the Bible, and self-help literature.
These books helped shape Carnegie’s thinking and provided the foundation for his approach to personal development and relationship building. “Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours.” – Dale Carnegie Best Quotes from “How to Win Friends and Influence People”: ” How to Win Friends and Influence People ” is overflowing with inspiring quotes that capture the essence of Carnegie’s principles.
- Some of the most memorable quotes include: “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you,” and “Success is getting what you want.
- Happiness is wanting what you get.
- You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you” – Dale Carnegie Books to Read if you Enjoy “How to Win Friends and Influence People”: If you loved “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” there are plenty of other books out there that complement Carnegie’s teachings and provide additional insights on relationship building and personal development.
Some of these books include ” The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey, ” The Art of Loving ” by Erich Fromm, and ” How to Stop Worrying and Start Living ” by Dale Carnegie. “Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you.
You make me happy. I am glad to see you.” Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is a must-read for anyone looking to improve their social skills and make a positive impact on the world. Carnegie’s principles, life, and legacy provide valuable lessons on relationship building, communication, and personal development.
Whether you’re seeking to improve your relationships in the workplace, in social situations, or in your personal life, this book has something to offer. So, grab a copy and start your journey to becoming a better version of yourself today! “Knowledge isn’t power until it is applied.” – Dale Carnegie
How long is how do you win friends and influence people?
Fortunately for us, all the same lessons were packaged into the now famous book,How to Win Friends and Influence People. But how do we find time to read and remember all 214 pages?
How many friends is good enough?
How Many Friends Do You Really Need in Adulthood?
When contemporary researchers quantify types, they usually come up with around three or four levels of relationship depth—acquaintances, casual friends, close friends, and intimate or “best” friends. The 4 Levels of Friendship Acquaintances are the people we see on a fairly regular basis that we “sort of know,” at least well enough to make idle small talk, but with whom we don’t really have the desire or emotional needed to deepen the connection.
Casual friends are typically those with whom you spend time within shared activities or with whom you cross paths on a regular basis and whom you have gotten to know enough to feel ready to call a “friend.” You might love all the members of your painting class, have a laugh with them during the meetings, and even hang out with them outside of class, but they are people that you probably wouldn’t hang with if you didn’t share this particular activity.
Close friends pretty much always start as acquaintances who turn into casual friends and whom you have enough mutual admiration and affinity that you share a little more of yourself, they share a little more about themselves, and you continue to enjoy getting to know one another and spending time together.
Close friends are the ones that you call when life sucks so bad that you just want to cry, hide, or run away. Close friends are those you trust with many of your secrets and the friends who put up with you even when you’re in a lousy mood or need to talk at 2 am when your love life splits wide open.
Intimate friends are the most intensely connected. These are the friends that you let into the inner sanctum of your heart and mind, who you trust with the deepest secrets, and who you know will never let you down or betray your trust. Some people form this type of friendship with their partner, but that’s not always the case.
One woman describes her close friends are her “soul sisters” and her partner knew that when they married, the “soul sisters” were going to be part of their “family” for life. Aristotle’s Three Friendship Types Thousands of years earlier, Aristotle described three types of friendships—utility, pleasure, and good.
Friendships of utility are the friendships some of us would call “friendships of convenience.” These are the folks with whom we share carpool duty, or whose home we keep an eye on while they’re out of town because we’ll need them to pick up our mail when we go on vacation next month. It might be the woman you sit beside on the train everyday: You’d never find any other reason to enjoy her company otherwise, but she’s familiar, pleasant, and safe.
Friends of convenience or utility are the people we rely on and on whom we can rely on for small tasks and a willingness to help out so long as the expectations of investment aren’t too great. Once the needs are no longer present for the assistance to be of value, these relationships are likely to evaporate quickly.
- Friendships of pleasure are those friendships that are all about simply enjoying one another’s company and having a good time together.
- This type of friendship includes the neighbors that you like having drinks with on your deck on summer evenings or the crowd you always get a coffee with after a book club meeting.
These are the people you count on to keep your mood light or your mind off your troubles. They might be the Sunday afternoon football crowd, the monthly Bunco brigade, the moms that you enjoy hanging out with at your kids’ soccer and softball games. They might be the folks who show up at the same parties to which you are invited and who always make you feel welcome.
- You can spend a lifetime hanging with these types of friends: They bring you, your presence has the same effect on them, and there’s no deeper demands on of either of you.
- So as long as the friendship continues to be a pleasure, it can endure.
- Friendships of the good are friendships based on mutual respect, admiration, and appreciation for the qualities each of you brings to the relationship.
These may begin as a function of propinquity, shared interests, or shared life stage, but the spark between the two friends is lit and the opportunity for increasing mutual self-disclosure and connection is harvested. In a friendship of the good, you value who that friend actually is, strengths and weaknesses alike, and there is sufficient trust between the two that the relationship’s quality and depth outshine those of other types of friendship.
These relationships endure and are fed by the mutuality of the esteem and appreciation between the true friends – even if the time between meetings stretches into months or years. So, How Many Close Friends Do You Truly Need? Research suggests that the number of close friends we need to feel that we have enough is somewhere between three and five.
Not only that, but adults with four or five friends enjoy the highest levels of life satisfaction and those with three close friends are not far behind. And if you have one person who considers you their best friend, the satisfaction you enjoy in life is significantly higher than those who don’t.
- So, bear in mind that being there for others and holding a valued friendship place in another’s life can absolutely positively influence your own level of well-being.
- References Degges‐White, S., & Kepic, M. (2020).
- Friendships, subjective age, and life satisfaction of women in midlife.
- Adultspan Journal, 19(1), 39-53.
More from Psychology Today Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. More from Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D. More from Psychology Today : How Many Friends Do You Really Need in Adulthood?
How do you win friends and influence people questions to ask?
Who is the best listener you know? Who do you know that always has a smile? How do these people make you feel about yourself, life, and your friendship with them? How do you remember people’s names?
How many really good friends do you need?
There’s no “right” number of friends you should have, but research says most people have between 3 and 5 close friends. Friendship is necessary, but it can feel challenging to find people who really “get” you. What’s more, what you need from your friends might change as your life circumstances change.
What is the summary of just friends book?
Synopsis: Jenny meets Chance for the first time when she is assigned as his partner in class, and they rescue a doomed assignment with one clever lie. Suddenly the whole school is now convinced she and the biggest heartbreaker have been best friends forever.
It’s amazing how quickly a lie can grow―especially when you really want it to be the truth. Through it all, they hold on to the fact that they are “just friends” but that might be the biggest lie of all. Plot: This is an adorable twist to the popular/unpopular theme, making the common YA trope completely fresh.
At first you expect Jenny and Chance not to get along because of how different they are, but then you see the moment they just click. But instead of dating —as would normally happen—they become best friends. Chance’s home life gave him depth, made him real, and it’s what kept him from being a stereotype, while Chance’s influence on Jenny made her likeable instead of a cliché.
Sub Plot: I was not particularly keen on the Drake-and-Jenny storyline. In fact, I did not like Drake even half as much as I liked Chance and did not understand what Jenny saw in him. Plus, I seriously disliked some of Jenny’s decisions regarding her boyfriend, even though it fit well with the storyline.
Maybe their relationship is realistic for other people, but I could not relate to it at all. Character Development: It is nice to see a normal girl as an FMC. The very fact there was nothing special about her made her all the more amazing. No chronic shyness, no excessive clumsiness, no complete lack of ability to dress herself, no out-of-this-world skill that will someday make her famous Just a girl.
- A female who preferred reading to sports, studied hard to get good grades, and blended in with the general student body.
- Jenny is so easy to see yourself in, as she is very similar to what a fictional version of myself would be.
- Romance: Chance is popular –especially with the girls– but he doesn’t cop a big-man-on-campus attitude and, while Jenny tends to keep to herself, she is just another student rather than their being at complete opposite ends of the spectrum.
It is utterly adorable how they become friends and how their past “bond” creates a strong friendship that gives way to the potential for more. Verdict: This story somehow managed to be exactly as I expected and nothing like it at all making it pretty perfect. JaimeKristal is a freelance editor and writer. She started her book review blog “Tales of a Booklover” for the enjoyment of sharing her love of reading, writing, and editing. View all posts by JaimeKristal
What is the summary of best of friends?
‘Best of Friends’ Review: An Underwhelming Tale of Childhood Friendship Kamila Shamsie, author of several successful novels and writer for the Guardian presents a story on friendship, politics, and the boundaries of loyalty in her newest book, “Best of Friends.” The novel can be split into two narratives, each separated by 30 years and thousands of miles.
- The first portion of the book is set in Karachi, Pakistan in the late 1980s.The novel follows two best friends in their early teens, Maryam and Zahra, as dictatorship makes tensions rise in their community.
- Maryam lives a life of comfort, privilege, and political influence, while Zahra is the daughter of a schoolteacher and a journalist who hosts a popular national cricket television program.
Shamsie does a nice job illustrating the way class can insert itself into even the closest of friendships — often in unsaid, almost indistinguishable ways, and sometimes in conversation-stopping, silencing ways. The cracks and canyons caused by class in close relationships are not lost on Shamsie, and this gives her characters an authenticity that is more than welcome.
- After several chapters of introduction and buildup, the book takes off when Zahra convinces Maryam to ride home from a party with Jimmy and Hammad, two older boys.
- The men taunt and intimidate the girls, the threat of physical and sexual violence running just below the surface of their voices.
- While they could technically only be legally charged with reckless driving, the impact is crystal clear: This was an instance of gendered, and inherently sexual, violence and trauma.
The evening spurs a series of events that ends with Maryam sent to boarding school in England and Zahra left to finish secondary school without her. But more importantly, this event and the men that facilitated it are the axis, really, that the rest of the book revolves around.
- Now, this could have been an effective tool, and it frequently is; the trauma bond is no new phenomenon to the contemporary reader.
- The problem here, though, is that the trauma and the way it bonds Zahra and Maryam gets muddled — dare I say, faded — over the course of the novel, which would have been fine if Shamsie hadn’t kept insisting on the reassertion of its importance.
The two women that lead this novel are strong, complex personalities; they are assertive, successful, and not always totally agreeable, but — more often than not — fundamentally likable. Shamsie gives both of her characters the space and time to be full, multifaceted people.
So, while acknowledging this car ride from their teens as traumatic does the important work of identifying gender violence as something that can be nuanced (and never requiring physical harm to be legitimate), as the characters age, their relationship aging is more interesting than dredging up this scary memory.
If Shamsie wanted to make this night the focal point of the novel, she either needed to make the personal/emotional impact of the event stronger or make the event itself more dynamic. The second part of the book jumps ahead to 2019 in London and begins with a Guardian profile of Zahra and a Yahoo! Finance article on Maryam.
The faux journalism is an awkward way to inform the reader of where the women’s adult lives have taken them, but they are not necessarily unpleasant. What is unpleasant, however, about the second portion of this novel is the startling lack of detail in some places and the excess attention given to others.
The entire novel struggles with visual details — very few scenes are described, few people are given physical characteristics, and movement between people, scenes, and places is not written in a way that permits the reader any rights to visualization.
While the first part of the novel focuses on class in Karachi, once Zahra and Maryam move to London, this tension dissipates almost entirely, and the adjustment of moving from Pakistan to the United Kingdom goes totally unaddressed. Meanwhile, the reader spends a tedious amount of time considering the intricacies of Zahra’s human rights advocacy and the way that bristles against Maryam’s profit-over-all perspective.
Although reading about these parts of the characters’ lives can be interesting, the decision to include them feels awkward — not bad, just not what the reader was expecting (or wanting, for that matter). The prose works well, and everything that Shamsie addresses is important — but that’s part of the problem.
- In choosing to incorporate content and characters that all demand large amounts of attention, some don’t get what they deserve and others are overdone.
- And, all the while, the reader is not granted access to the images needed to process all these narrative pieces in a cohesive way.
- That’s not to say that every book owes its reader a rich, visual world, but this contemporary novel does and doesn’t step up to the challenge — or even acknowledge the challenge at all.
All in all, this book is not Shamsie’s best work, but it’s more than worth reading. The characters are dynamic and well-developed, and the plot is anything but boring. The friendship of Zahra and Maryam is a pleasure to witness, and Shamsie’s argument on the nature of violence towards women is astute and important.
What is the summary of friends to the end
Friends to the End This is the first paperback edition of the classic gift book. “In Friends to the End, I have tried to address some of the profound and amusing aspects of friendship in a way that offers pause for thought and more than a few reasons to laugh out loud.
I hope this little book helps us all appreciate those people in our lives whom we both adore and sometimes want to strangle, but at the end of the day, we simply couldn’t live without-our friends.” -Bradley Trevor Grieve Friends and life. Life and friends. The two are so tightly interwoven it’s impossible to imagine one being remotely worthwhile without the other.
As Bradley Trevor Greive points out, “There are very few truly solitary creatures on this planet. And most of them have serious personal hygiene issues.” What makes friends so special? What does our choice of friends say about us? What sparks the best friendships and keeps them burning? In Friends to the End: The True Value of Friendship, BTG uses his trademark witty narrative illustrated with irresistible animal photos to explore the daily magic we experience through our friends.
Best described as a cross between his famously successful Dear Mom and The Blue Day Book, Friends to the End examines themes such as why we can’t live without friends, how great friendships grow from humble beginnings, how to identify different types of friendship, what to do when good friends turn bad, and why it’s all so worthwhile.
“When I think back to all the really great or the horrendously bad times in my life,” says BTG, “I can’t help but think about how my friends made the former all the more enjoyable and the latter at least survivable. I want this book to help people appreciate friendship for all it is and all it can be.” * NOTE: The price on the cover is an easily removable sticker.
How does the book The Best of Friends end?
Lucinda Berry | The Best of Friends An unthinkable tragedy forever changes a group of teens and turns family against family in this edge-of-your-seat thriller that begs to be read in one sitting. Best friends Lindsey, Kendra, and Dani endure every parent’s nightmare when a tragic accident befalls their teenage boys, leaving one dead, another in a coma, and a third too traumatized to speak.
Reeling from the worst night of their lives, the three mothers plunge into a desperate investigation of the bizarre incident. How could something so horrible happen in their wealthy Southern California suburb? They soon discover that the accident was just the beginning, and troubling discoveries lead to chilling questions: Do they really know their children? Do they even know each other? As more secrets surface, a fog of doubt and suspicion threatens to poison their families, their friendships, and the whole community.
With the illusion of happiness and safety long gone, these women must now confront the hazards of heartbreak, the consequences of jealousy, and the dangers of living double lives. Click here for book spoilers for The Best of Friends Book spoilers ahead–if you haven’t yet read The Best of Friends, I suggest you turn back now. As the investigation proceeds, secrets begin to come out. Bryan is a drunk and a bully who abuses Dani, and Caleb has inherited his temper, especially when drunk. Reese is apparently a preteen drug dealer, and might have supplied the boys with drugs on the night of the incident.
Andrew has been emotionally cheating on Lindsey. All three boys apparently went to a frat party the night of the incident, and Luna brought them home because they were wasted and causing a scene. They were also seemingly fighting over girls. Jacob and Sawyer were a couple (I guessed this from the first time Sawyer’s mother described the pictures of Jacob in Sawyer’s phone).
Kendra finds Sawyer’s burner phone that he used to contact Jacob throughout their relationship and brought it to the other women. Caleb finally spoke, and confessed that he killed Sawyer. They were completely wasted after the party, and Sawyer and Jacob were fighting about their relationship.
Sawyer was telling Caleb to stop treating him like a f****t, and describing what he’d do to Luna (Caleb’s sister) to prove he’s not gay. Caleb doesn’t remember getting the gun, but when he came back down Sawyer was laying into Jacob. Caleb told him to back off, put the gun into his stomach to threaten him, and then the gun unintentionally went off.
As Caleb was trying to help Sawyer, Jacob took the gun and shot himself in the head. Jacob passed away once the secret was out. Somehow Kendra, Lindsey, and Dani were able to remain friends throughout Caleb’s trial. In the epilogue, we find out that Dani was Andrew’s lover, but since the website was anonymous they didn’t know.
I think this part should have been left out–it’s a little too far fetched that they both anonymously went on the internet for companionship and just happened to use the same website and connect with each other. This one has been on my NetGalley shelf for a long time, and man did I miss out by not reading it sooner.
I was drawn in right away, immediately wanting to know what happened the night that Sawyer died (not a spoiler, you find out which boy is which right in the first few pages). The Best of Friends reminds you that tragedy can strike at any time, no matter how perfect and safe your life seems.
I definitely got emotional at points, which I take as a sign it was a great book. Definitely a quick, engaging read. I wouldn’t call this one a thriller, though–more like domestic suspense. You already know the “ending” at the beginning of the book, you just don’t know why it happened. I’ve seen a lot of domestic suspense novels incorrectly marketed as thrillers lately, I wonder why that is.
My only complaint is that it was a little difficult to keep the characters separate at first–their families are all so similar and the narrators so interchangeable that I had to write down the names and who was whose son. It didn’t help that in a typo, Caleb was referred to as Jacob! Once I got a hang of who was who, though, the story moved quickly.