Asked By: Isaac Washington Date: created: Jun 05 2024

What are the four things to say to a dying person

Answered By: Jeremiah Martin Date: created: Jun 08 2024

The Four Things that Matter Most Death is the most inevitable fact, yet like the three wise monkeys’ principle, “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil,” most Americans hope by ignoring, or not preparing for death, it will just go away. Three and a half million Americans will die this year. Three people per minute will die an accidental or unexpected death today, and none of them thought this day would be their last. Only a handful will have effectively communicated to their loved ones what mattered most to them before they departed.

Death ends a life but not a relationship, ” is one of many simple yet profound observations shared by Dr. Ira Byock in his book, “.” While Byock treated thousands of terminally ill patients during his thirty-year medical career as a hospice and palliative care physician he observed, “When you talk to someone being wheeled into the operating room for transplant surgery or someone with cancer getting infused with chemotherapy for the first time and ask them what’s on their mind, the answer will ALWAYS involve people they love, ALWAYS.” The importance of relationships led Dr.

Byock to conclude that patients who came to positive life closure, were not afraid to say these four important phrases to those they loved: ‘Please forgive me,’ ‘I forgive you,’ ‘Thank you,’ and ‘I love you.’ It is that simple BUT it is not easy. By nature, all humans are imperfect, and we inflict wounds on those we are in relationships with, intentional or not.

Our imperfections lead us to our need for forgiveness, both giving it and receiving it. Byock is clear that “Forgiveness is not about making excuses for someone’s bad behavior, and it is not the same as forgetting that someone hurt you. The adage: Forgive and Forget is ridiculous advice. To forgive someone, you do not have to forget his or her misdeeds or act as if it had never happened.

Forgiving does not require forgetting that’s amnesia! Real forgiveness requires remembering. ” It involves opening your heart in full awareness that you have been harmed or hurt and that you still feel it. Forgiveness is a generous act or process but at its core, forgiveness is about yourself rather than the other person being forgiven.

Forgiveness involves accepting that the past cannot be changed while recognizing that your past need not control your future. ” Asking for forgiveness is healing our own heart from the harm we have inflicted on others. However, we cannot control how it is accepted or not. If you are expecting your words and expressions to be returned in kind, you are at a substantial risk of being disappointed.

Secondly, expressing gratitude by saying, “Thank You” to those we love makes positive deposits in everyone’s emotional bank. Practical tip: Take a few minutes and express your thanks and appreciation to someone by sending a simple handwritten note or email. Saying, “I Love You” is the last of the ‘Four Things that Matters Most.’ A terrific book on this topic is Gary Chapman’s, ” The Five Love Languages,” Chapman explains each of us has a primary “Love Language” that resonates most with us. There are five primary love languages: words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time, and acts of service.

We each use all five of these to varying degrees but usually lean heavily towards one or two. Go to the 5lovelanguages.com website to complete the free quiz. It will help you better understand how best to express your love to others in their primary love language. Expressing the last three words, “I Love You” can be especially challenging if it has not been modeled in your life or your family.

‘Words of Affirmation’ was not my father’s Love Language. During the last week of his life, I asked him, ” Dad, why did it take you 80 years to say I love you to me for the first time?” He paused, thought, and replied, “I never heard it from my father, so I assumed you knew it and guess I didn’t feel I needed to say it.” Understanding that was not in his Love Language vocabulary freed me.

I forgave him for his words unsaid. I understand now it is hard to give something you never received. Do not wait until you are on death bed to say these “Four Things.” Use them as tools to aid you living fully, here, and now. Never miss the chance to offer forgiveness, gratitude, and love to the ones you love.

You will never regret it. By Mark Philbrick, MSN, RN, Director of Education, Transitions LifeCare : The Four Things that Matter Most

What do you say to someone who is terminally ill?

Thank You – “Thank you” is one key message that writer and editor Marn Jensen tried to express often to her mother and father during their time in hospice. Gratitude for the person’s life, their caring, and their influence really does make for a warm and affirming message. And that’s true for anyone from an immediate family member to a friend to more distant connections. Examples

“Thank you for all the days you’ve made brighter just by being you. There have been more of them than I can count.” “Thinking of the good life you’ve lived, the great times we’ve shared, and feeling so grateful for you.” “You’ve been such an important part of my life, and for that, I’ll always be grateful.” “I so admire the warm, funny, genuine person you are. My life will forever be better because you’ve been part of it.” “I wish we could have more time together, but I want you to know I cherish the times we have had and the time we still have.” “Thanks for being the one and only you and for being a blessing to so many people—especially me.” “I’ve been beyond lucky to know you. Thank you.” “You’ve been the best dad. Thank you.”

Helpful tip: Embracing a gratitude mindset can help you shift your message focus from the sadness of dying to the meaning in living.

What not to say to someone who is dying soon?

What to Avoid Saying to Someone Who is Dying – As you connect with someone in the process of dying, try not to:

Discuss your religious thoughts, especially without asking first Say anything canned or corny about death- this may come across as disingenuous Discuss your own beliefs about why they are dying Shift the discussion to focus solely on your feelings Hyper-focus on end-of-life plans Discuss how you’d feel if you were in their shoes

What a dying person wants to hear?

Tips from a Hospice Nurse: What to Say to a Dying Person When someone is dying, it can be an emotional and trying time for everyone involved. Many people shy away from the person who is dying because they don’t know how to deal with the emotions involved or they are afraid of what’s to come.

The most important thing to remember is this is about the person dying and not ourselves. Many times, the person who is dying knows they are dying and wants to feel comfort and support. They want to be assured things will be OK and make amends for things that happened in the past. You can use this to help guide you about what to say and how to say it.

Allow the person to be in control and follow their lead. For example, they may want to talk about their memories, big events of their life, etc. Keep their feelings and needs in mind during this time. On the other hand, they may prefer to just be around their loved ones with little or nothing to say.

In this instance you can show your presence by sitting next to them or their bed and providing a light touch of the hand or some other form of communication. If they are unresponsive, don’t allow this to deter you from saying what you want to say. Hearing is thought to be the last sense to go in the dying process, so don’t be afraid to talk.

Keep in mind that they person can likely still hear you, even if they appear to be in a deep sleep, so be mindful of what you say to others while in the dying person’s presence. It’s also helpful to remember not saying anything at all may be right for some situations.

Reminiscence with the person. Talk about memories and accomplishments. Share memories of joyous occasions. Start the conversation with, “Remember when ” Listen and be attentive while the dying person is sharing. They may feel the need to apologize or ask forgiveness for past transgressions. They may voice regrets from their life. Allow them time to speak and be heard. Say I love you. If the dying person is a loved one and it’s appropriate, remind them they are loved. We all need to feel loved. Thank the person. Thank him or her for allowing you to be there, for past things, etc. Offer forgiveness. If there were situations when the dying person has hurt you in some way, offer them forgiveness if it feels right to you. Tell the person they are forgiven if you feel that way. Can you help in another way? Is there something more they want to discuss that hasn’t been? Is there something more they want done? Ask them.

There are many ways to communicate and show compassion to a dying person. Find a meaningful way to connect with the person to provide comfort and support. Just being yourself and available is enough. Know that this can be a difficult time, and it can also be a peaceful time you may cherish.

In 1981, Hospice of the Red River Valley was founded on the belief that everyone deserves access to high-quality end-of-life care. We fulfill our nonprofit mission by providing medical, emotional, personal and spiritual care, as well as grief support to our patients, their families and caregivers during a tender time in life.

Our staff helps those we serve experience more meaningful moments through exceptional hospice care, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, wherever a patient calls home. The organization serves more than, including in and around Bismarck, Detroit Lakes, Devils Lake, Fargo, Fergus Falls, Grand Forks, Lisbon, Thief River Falls, Valley City and many more communities.

What does a dying person think about?

Hope at the End of Life – It may seem like a dying person can’t possibly feel hopeful, but dying people do retain an amazing capacity to hope. While they may have stopped hoping for a cure or for a long life, they may still hope to mend relationships with loved ones and die peacefully.

How do you say goodbye to someone who is dying?

How to Say Goodbye to a Loved One

Prepare early, Take time to think about what you want to say and who you want to say it to. You’ll have different goodbyes for different circumstances. Sometimes the ending is a death, sometimes it’s another type of parting. Don’t delay saying what you mean until the last moment. Expect emotions. You might cry, and that’s OK. Or sometimes we laugh because we can’t cry, at least not yet. Expect your emotions; they have a way of catching you off guard.

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There are many ways to say goodbye. Some of the most common are:

“I love you.” These three words are one of the greatest phrases to use in goodbyes. Practice saying them. “I forgive you.” or “I’m sorry.” These are powerful goodbye words and can transform you and the person who receives them for a lifetime. “Thank you” is another comforting goodbye phrase. When it’s used within a significant, shared story, it honors what made your relationship unique and meaningful. “I understand you need to go.” You may not be able to tell your loved one it’s OK for them to go, but perhaps you can tell them you understand they need to go. It will never feel OK to you. But sometimes people are waiting for a cue that they can go. People who are dying may not feel they can pass if they are too worried about how the family will cope without them.

Sometimes people say, “We don’t do goodbyes, we do ‘See you laters.” That counts, as long as you all really know what you are saying, and you’re not skirting around an important message. Goodbye has the etiology of meaning, “God be with you,” so saying goodbye is bestowing a blessing.

And for a person whose faith tradition anticipates seeing one another again after a parting or after a death, “see you later” rings true. Take hints from your loved one. You can ask, “Is there anything that would be most important to you to talk about today?” Take your cues from your own inner self. What do you most need to hear? That may be the best clue about what you might need to say.

Sometimes the most touching gesture you can offer are no words at all—just being there, a hug, holding a hand, rubbing a shoulder, crying. Saying goodbye is an important signal to your loved ones and recognizes an ending point in your journey together.

It also signifies we can say goodbye and still be all right. We’re now at the fork in the road, and it’s OK to travel separately because we’ve each had the pleasure of traveling together for a time that mattered. It’s a way of saying, “Thank you, I’ll be OK, and you’ll be OK.” Your words may be an essential gift of peace to someone who is worrying if you can handle their leaving.

Are you concerned about saying goodbye too soon? If you say your heartfelt goodbye and see your loved one again, it’s a gift. In 1981, Hospice of the Red River Valley was founded on the belief that everyone deserves access to high-quality end-of-life care.

  • We fulfill our nonprofit mission by providing medical, emotional, personal and spiritual care, as well as grief support to our patients, their families and caregivers during a tender time in life.
  • Our staff helps those we serve experience more meaningful moments through exceptional hospice care, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, wherever a patient calls home.

The organization serves more than, including in and around Bismarck, Detroit Lakes, Devils Lake, Fargo, Fergus Falls, Grand Forks, Lisbon, Thief River Falls, Valley City and many more communities. Hospice of the Red River Valley offers round-the-clock availability via phone, prompt response times and same-day admissions, including evenings, weekends and holidays.

How do you encourage a terminally ill person?

You can encourage the person who is dying to share their feelings, and you can share your own in return. You can tell them what they mean to you and how you might remember them. The person nearing the end of life may want to make a legacy, such as writing their life story or letters to family and friends.

Asked By: Joshua Thompson Date: created: Apr 05 2023

Should you leave a dying person alone

Answered By: Juan Cox Date: created: Apr 06 2023

By Lizzy Miles A little over a year ago I wrote a Pallimed article called, ” We Don’t Know Death: 7 Assumptions We Make about the Dying. ” Having knowledge of our assumptions is a first step, but what do we do with that knowledge? Since I wrote that article, I have further contemplated the “so what” factor of the assumptions to develop suggested interventions.

This article is the fourth in a series of articles where I will take each assumption from the original article and explore the concept in greater depth to include implications and possible interventions. In my last article, I wrote about the assumption Family will want to be with their loved one when they are dying,

Here is our next assumption: People don’t want to be alone when they die. This may be an unpopular assertion within my own hospice industry for me to advocate for leaving a patient alone sometimes. Hospices have entire programs devoted to assuring patients and families that they will not ever be alone.

  • Many of them are actually called, “No one dies alone” or NODA.
  • The perhaps unintended consequences of the marketing of these programs is the programs may perpetuate the myth for the public that nobody ever wants to die alone.
  • For the family member who has minimal prior direct experience of being with a loved one as they die, this assumption that dying patients shouldn’t ever have to be alone can create intense anxiety.

Family members will sit vigil for days without eating or sleeping. Hospice professionals may inform the family they can take a break, but this can be a confusing mixed message. Hospice has a program that says that no one should have to die alone, and yet this hospice nurse is telling me to take a break? Some patients want to die when no one else is there. Hospice professionals know that companionship while dying is a personal preference. We have those patients who die in the middle of the night. We hear stories about the loved one who just stepped out for five minutes and the patient died. We may have even witnessed a quick death ourselves.

  1. I believe this happens by the patient’s choice.
  2. Secondary assumption: Patient will want family member by their bedside when they die When my mom was on hospice and they said her death was close, I sat vigil with my mom throughout the night, sleeping in an uncomfortable recliner.
  3. I finally went home to take a shower and mom died when I was 10 minutes away from returning to the facility.

I was racked with guilt. Years later when I was working in hospice, I reconciled what had happened after I observed many deaths where patient died after family stepped out. It seems to happen most often when the patient is a parent. I believe it is a protective factor.

A patient might die when their loved one steps out of the room for just a minute or right before they arrive. It is gut wrenching for the family member if they’re not prepared for this possibility. Suggested Intervention: Educate family prior to when patient is actively dying that the patient may purposefully die when family is not present.

If you have this conversation while the death is not imminent, you will have a better chance of the family member absorbing what you are telling them. I believe this conversation helps with bereavement as well. When I have prepared a family member ahead of time of the possibility that they will not be present at time of death, and the death happens in their absence, they usually say to me that they understand why.

  1. They will say, “He couldn’t bear to leave while I was sitting there.
  2. When I left his side, he knew that I would be okay and he could go.” Before I started having these preparatory conversations, I noticed that the bereaved family members always had strong feelings of guilt for “not being there” when the patient died.

They felt their physical absence was somehow a metaphorical representation that they were not emotionally there for the patient. They believe they failed the patient. This rarely is the case, but guilt is a difficult feeling to alleviate. Loved ones can harbor this self-imposed guilt for years after the death. This conversation would perhaps give the patient the opportunity to let the family member know they are uncomfortable with the family member being present when they die. This may be too direct of a conversation between family and patient, so you really have to read whether they would be open to the discussion.

  • A patient may worry that the family member would feel hurt by their choice, so they might not be able to articulate their preference.
  • They also may not know what they would want, because imagining the moment of death might be too scary.
  • Ultimately, the most important person to inform is any family member who seems to have the expectation that they will be there for the patient.

Unfortunately, even if the family member knows the patient would rather they not be there, that does not mean they will honor the patient’s wishes. I saw a standoff between a private grandmother and an attached granddaughter that lasted way longer than it should have, because the grandmother said she didn’t need the granddaughter to be there, and the granddaughter insisted on vigil.

We had an open conversation, but it didn’t help. The granddaughter won that one. Suggested Intervention: Remember, sometimes your intervention is simply listening. As hospice professionals, we can advise and facilitate, but ultimately, family dynamics are enduring throughout a lifetime. (This will be covered in a future article).

When I was a volunteer, one time I was asked to sit vigil with a patient to relieve the family. But when I got there, the patient’s wife and daughter were so nervous about leaving that they stayed too. They asked why it was taking so long for their loved one to die.

  1. I explained the idea that sometimes a patient can’t or won’t die while family is present.
  2. They seemed to understand the conversation and eventually left.
  3. The following day, I went to visit again, but as it turned out, the patient had died when I was en route, and the hospice office did not have a chance to contact me.

When I arrived, one of the patient’s daughters pulled me aside and told me that she listened to what I had said the day before and wanted to tell me what had happened with his death. She said when the nurse told her it was going to be soon, she called her mom and sister.

  1. She leaned forward and said to her non-responsive father, “Dad, they’re coming.
  2. You and I both know that I’m the only one who can handle this, so if you’re going to go, you better go now.” He died within 5 minutes, before his wife and daughter arrived.
  3. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I was not informed of his death so that I could arrive to the facility for the daughter to tell me her story.

There was another patient with whom I had an open discussion upon our initial meeting. She was a mother and she told me she did not want her children to see her suffer. It was an offhand comment that was illustrated by her death five days later. Her daughter was present at the home and the nurse told the daughter that the patient would be dying soon.

The daughter stepped out of the room to call her siblings and in that moment, the patient took her last breath. The adult children all arrived within minutes only to find they hadn’t made it in time. As we waited for the funeral home, the family talked about the patient’s strong independent nature. I informed them that her mother had told me that she did not want them to see her “suffer” and that I believe she chose to go before they arrived.

There was a moment of levity for them as they laughed and agreed that it would be just like her to do what she did. They were still mourning her absence, of course, but they admitted that they were comforted by believing their mom was protecting them by dying before they arrived.

  • These are just a few examples of the times in which I have observed patients choosing to die in a loved one’s absence.
  • As with the other assumptions articles, the purpose of this article is to bring to light some hidden assumptions that we or our family members may have, and identify how we may best support them in their journey.
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Lizzy Miles, MA, MSW, LSW is a hospice social worker in Columbus, Ohio and author of a book of happy hospice stories: Somewhere In Between: The Hokey Pokey, Chocolate Cake and the Shared Death Experience, Lizzy is best known for bringing the Death Cafe concept to the United States.

How do you say goodbye to a dying parent?

Create memories and stories – Often when a person is dying, they like to reflect on their past and think of their achievements so that they can see that their life has been important. If your mum or dad feels up to it, you could sit down and talk about their favourite memories and look back over their life.

You could also ask them to tell you about their thoughts and dreams for you and your future. You might like to record these somehow so that when those big events happen – your graduation, your wedding, having kids – you can remember the conversations you had and feel like your mum or dad is part of them.

If you have the opportunity now, you might be able to start collecting things that will help to remind you of them in the future. This might be something you can do together. There are lots of ideas for collecting memories and preparing – as hard as it is – for your mum’s or dad’s death in Canteen’s free book ‘Now what? When your parent’s cancer can’t be cured which you can download or order here,

Asked By: Brian Williams Date: created: Apr 27 2024

Should you talk to a dying person

Answered By: Christopher Ross Date: created: Apr 27 2024

Talking to someone who is dying – The dying person might find it hard to come straight out and say they are scared or would like to talk. So instead, you might need to watch out for signs. For example, they might say things like ‘Well, I suppose things are coming to an end now’ or ‘Things seem very final at the moment’.

Or they may hint at being frightened of dying. Changing the subject or saying that everything will be OK can be very tempting. You might want to say, ‘Oh, it’ll be fine, just you wait and see’ or ‘Let’s not talk like that – things will work out’. But it’s very helpful to let the person know that you’re willing to talk and to listen.

People who are dying can feel scared that they will be left alone to die, without anyone to listen to them or look after them. It is important to allow them time to talk. Don’t change the subject, even if one of you starts crying. Crying is a very normal reaction and can release a lot of feelings and emotions.

Do dying people try to talk?

Tip #2: If possible, be clear that you know the end is nearing – Some people who know they are dying avoid talking about it right up until the moment of death. It’s important to recognize that this is a valid choice and to respect it. More often, however, people who are dying feel respected and supported by openness and honesty in conversations.

  • They may talk about symptoms such as pain, shortness of breath, or nausea.
  • They may wonder what to expect when death is near.
  • Rather than avoiding these concerns, acknowledge that they must be worrisome.
  • You might say, “Tell me more about what you are experiencing,” or ask, “What do you think is happening?” You could add, “This would be important to discuss with your doctor.

Can I help you make a list of questions for the doctor?” Inviting the person to share information from the health care team can lead to open conversations about the progress of the illness and an opportunity to ask, “What do you now need most from me (from other friends and family members, from the health care team)?” If the person has difficulty answering this question, offer examples of the support you could provide – perhaps being present and listening, running errands for the family, or helping with housework.

When death is near, close friends and family members may want to be present. This is a tender time requiring balance between the needs of the family and the wishes of the person. Ask who the person would like to have visit and how many guests would be appropriate at one time. Keeping his or her wishes front and centre can provide a dying person with a sense of control at a very vulnerable time.

The gathering of family and close friends becomes a quiet signal to all that death may be near. If the person wonders why you or others are present, explain that you want to be with him or her during this time. Follow the person’s lead in talking about what is happening as death approaches.

  1. Direct questions deserve simple, direct responses.
  2. Use your own words to say something like, “It seems that your journey on this earth is coming to an end.” Ask the person if there is anyone he or she would like to talk to by phone, internet, or in person.
  3. This may include a visit from a religious leader in the person’s faith community, or the spiritual care provider in the hospital or hospice,

If you feel that you still have important things to say, consider the advice of Dr. Ira Byock, a palliative care physician and author of “Four Things That Matter Most.” According to Dr. Byock, the next four tips are things that dying people want to hear from their loved ones.

What is the last sense to leave the body?

UBC research shows hearing persists at end of life – UBC News Jul 8, 2020 | For more information, contact Hearing is widely thought to be the last sense to go in the dying process. Now UBC researchers have evidence that some people may still be able to hear while in an unresponsive state at the end of their life.

This research, published recently in, is the first to investigate hearing in humans when they are close to death. Using electroencephalography (EEG), which measures electrical activity in the brain, the researchers analyzed data collected from healthy control participants, from hospice patients when they were conscious, and from the same hospice patients when they became unresponsive.

The patients were receiving palliative care at St. John Hospice in Vancouver. “In the last hours before an expected natural death, many people enter a period of unresponsiveness,” says study lead author Elizabeth Blundon, who was a PhD student in the department of psychology at the time of the study.

  1. Our data shows that a dying brain can respond to sound, even in an unconscious state, up to the last hours of life.” This new insight into the dying brain’s response to sound can help family and friends bring comfort to a person in their final moments.
  2. The researchers monitored the brain’s response to those tones using EEG and found that some dying patients responded similarly to the young, healthy controls—even when they were hours away from death.

“We were able to identify specific cognitive processes from the neuro-typical participants as well as the hospice patients,” says Lawrence Ward, a professor in the department of psychology at UBC. “We had to look very carefully at the individual control participants’ data, to see if each one of them showed a particular type of brain response before we felt confident that the unresponsive patient’s brain reacted similarly.” This study was adapted from a European study that explored brain responses to sound in individual healthy participants, and in minimally conscious and unresponsive brain-injured patients.

The UBC researchers applied a similar paradigm to actively dying unresponsive patients. Blundon and Ward collaborated with Dr. Romayne Gallagher, a palliative care physician at St. John Hospice who has since retired. The research required patients to give their consent in advance. Thirteen families participated and brain recordings were obtained from five patients when they were unresponsive.

In Gallagher’s 30 years of treating dying patients, she has witnessed positive reactions in people when loved ones spoke to them in their final moments. Gallagher and her colleagues often wondered if hearing was the last sense to go. She contacted Ward to see if this theory could be proven.

This research gives credence to the fact that hospice nurses and physicians noticed that the sounds of loved ones helped comfort people when they were dying,” says Gallagher. “And to me, it adds significant meaning to the last days and hours of life and shows that being present, in person or by phone, is meaningful.

It is a comfort to be able to say goodbye and express love.” Blundon says what while the evidence of brain activity supports the idea that a dying person might be hearing, they can’t confirm whether people are aware of what they’re hearing. “Their brains responded to the auditory stimuli, but we can’t possibly know if they’re remembering, identifying voices, or understanding language,” says Blundon.

What is the first organ to shut down when dying?

6. You may urinate and defecate. When we’re alive, our brain is constantly sending signals to tell different parts of our body what to do. At death, these signals stop, and our muscles mostly relax. “The neck of the bladder and the sphincter are in a constant state of contraction, so when there’s no more neural signals to the bladder or bowels, then they relax,” Palace says.

  1. So it’s not uncommon just after death for urine to come pouring out or for someone to defecate.” 7.
  2. Morphine is only used to ease the pain associated with passing.
  3. Palace says the biggest misconception he hears is that morphine is given to patients to help induce death.
  4. He says this couldn’t be further from the truth.

“Obviously, physician-assisted suicide is not legal in most states, so morphine is not given to help hasten the end,” he says. RELATED: Giving Dying Patients a Sense of Dignity When people are dying, Palace explains, blood pressure drops and they are getting less oxygen to their organs.

  1. The body responds by gasping for air in a futile attempt to increase their respiratory rate.
  2. Doctors refer to this as air hunger.
  3. That gasping is very difficult for families to see, as it obviously looks painful, and that’s where the role of morphine comes in,” Palace says.
  4. The proper dose of morphine relieves the sense of air hunger, so they’re breathing more calmly and more comfortably.” 8.

The body as a whole may be dead, but certain parts within are still alive. The brain is the first organ to begin to break down, and other organs follow suit. Living bacteria in the body, particularly in the bowels, play a major role in this decomposition process, or putrefaction.

This decay produces a very potent odor. “Even within a half hour, you can smell death in the room,” he says. “It has a very distinct smell.” 9. There may be a scientific explanation to the notion of your life flashing before your eyes. A 2013 study from the University of Michigan found that dying rats displayed high levels of brain waves shortly after their hearts stopped beating.

Researchers believe the finding could have implications for humans and possibly explain the near-death experiences many cardiac arrest survivors report. “It will form the foundation for future human studies investigating mental experiences occurring in the dying brain, including seeing light during cardiac arrest,” lead study author Jimo Borjigin, PhD, said in a statement.10.

Consciousness may continue after death. There is little scientific research available that tells us what happens to the mind after death, but a 2014 study may offer some insight. Researchers at the University of Southampton in England examined over 2,000 cardiac arrest patients in the United States, United Kingdom, and Austria.

Of those who survived, 140 were surveyed about their near-death experiences, and 39 percent reported feeling some kind of awareness while being resuscitated. This sense of awareness included feelings of peacefulness and a sensation that time slowed down or sped up.

Asked By: Lucas King Date: created: Apr 23 2024

Can a dying person hear you talking to them

Answered By: Philip Henderson Date: created: Apr 24 2024

How to Meaningfully Say Goodbye – If your loved one in hospice care becomes nonverbal and unresponsive, it’s easy to believe the misconception that they can’t hear you. A recent study, however, reveals that hearing is the last sense that remains for dying patients.

  • With this in mind, Heart to Heart Hospice can help guide you to provide meaningful moments during their final days even when they can’t respond.
  • The study, released by the University of British Columbia, measured electrical activity in the brain via EEGs of healthy control patients, hospice patients when conscious, and the same hospice patients when they became unresponsive.
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The important findings, along with observations of long-time palliative care doctors and nurses, show:

Brain activity supports that a dying patient most likely can hear. Even if awareness of sound cannot be communicated due to loss of motor responses, the value of verbal interactions is measurable and positive. Patients appear comforted by the sounds of their loved ones (in person and by phone).

“In the last hours before an expected natural death, many people enter a period of unresponsiveness,” says study lead author Elizabeth Blundon, who was a psychology PhD student at the time of the study. “Our data shows that a dying brain can respond to sound, even in an unconscious state, up to the last hours of life.”

Asked By: Philip Johnson Date: created: Mar 08 2024

How long does active dying last

Answered By: Thomas Cox Date: created: Mar 10 2024

How Long Does the Active Stage of Dying Last? – The active stage of dying generally only lasts for about 3 days. The active stage is preceded by an approximately 3-week period of the pre-active dying stage. Though the active stage can be different for everyone, common symptoms include unresponsiveness and a significant drop in blood pressure.

What is the most common thing people say when dying?

Hospice nurse reveals what people say before dying

A hospice nurse from has revealed what most people say before they die.Julie, who goes only by her first name on social media, has been working as a hospice nurse in for the past five years and has been educating people about death on,Hospice care is a type of health care that focuses on relieving a terminally ill patient’s pain and symptoms and attending to their emotional and spiritual needs at the end of life.”I love educating patients and families about what to expect with and what to expect with the specific disease they are dying from,” Julie told “I also really like giving the patient and family some comfort knowing we will be there to manage their symptoms.”She said she has been doing this kind of work for the past 14 years as she was an ICU nurse for nine years before moving to hospice care.Recently, the registered nurse posted a video describing things that happen to most people right before they die, including changes in a person’s skin colour, breathing pattern, and secretions from body parts. She said that though these things may appear unusual, they are absolutely typical at that stage. “There is something most people say before they die, and it’s usually ‘I love you’ or they call out to their mum or dad – who have usually already died,” Julie said.She added that it is hard to generalise what happens when people die as each individual is unique in their own way.However, she said, if someone is dying of natural causes in hospice care, most people have similar symptoms during the “actively dying phase”.

“The symptoms of the actively dying phase include changes in consciousness, changes in breathing, mottling and terminal secretions,” Julie said. “These are normal and not painful or uncomfortable.” She added: “Our bodies take care of ourselves at the end of life – the less we intervene, the better.” The nurse also addressed “some assumptions” that people make about hospice care, including that morphine makes people die faster and that everyone at a hospice dies immediately.

Asked By: Mason Miller Date: created: Jul 31 2023

What is the right thing to say to someone who is dying

Answered By: Ronald Alexander Date: created: Aug 03 2023

What to Say to a Dying Person: Ideas from a Hospice Company What To Say To A Dying Person Though it can be healthy to talk about death, it’s not always an easy thing to do. In fact, it usually never is. Additionally, it’s not always easy to know what to say to someone who is dying. Death is, understandably so, a difficult subject to broach.

  1. At Agape Hospice & Palliative Care, we understand this wholeheartedly, which is why we’ve gathered some suggestions for how to speak with a dying person.
  2. Communicate with Compassion When communicating with someone who is dying, it’s important to show compassion.
  3. You can do this by finding a meaningful way to connect.

One way to do this is through offering comfort and support. Being yourself during this difficult time can be calming for the patient who is in the process of passing. Despite the high emotions involved during the trying time that is watching a loved one undergo the process of dying, it’s important not to shy away from your loved one.

They want to feel comfort and support. This time is about them and not us. Remind Them That They Are Loved Often, the person dying is aware that they are dying. Saying “I love you” may feel small, though it’s anything but small. If the dying person is your loved one, this is appropriate and special. We all need to feel loved, and reminding them that they are loved, especially at a potentially scary time like this, can be comforting.

Saying it freely and often can benefit both them and you. Sometimes You Can Reminiscence When speaking with someone who is dying, it’s important to follow their lead and let them be in control of the conversation. They may wish to speak about big events in their life or reminiscence about memories.

  • During this time, keep their needs and feelings at the forefront of your thoughts.
  • You can talk about memories with them, listen to their accomplishments if they wish to share, and speak on joyous occasions you shared together.
  • Simply Be There for Them Some loved ones who are dying will have little to say or even nothing at all.

In this case, your presence alone can provide them with comfort. If you’re able to physically be there for them during this trying time, it can be comforting to sit on the bed next to them or even just by holding their hand. It is presumed that hearing is the last of the sense to go before one passes away.

Even if your loved one appears to be in a deep sleep, they can likely still hear you. The sound of your voice or the touch of your hand atop there may be all they need during this time. Contact Agape Hospice & Palliative Care For more information and helpful tips, you can reach out to the team at Agape Hospice & Palliative Care.

Located in Torrance, CA, we serve patients throughout the surrounding areas as well, including Orange County, Los Angeles,,, Manhattan Beach, El Segundo, La Midas, and Lawndale. As compassionate hospice professionals, we are here to support those who are terminally ill.

Asked By: Kyle Wright Date: created: Sep 11 2023

How do you say goodbye to someone who is dying

Answered By: Jesse Thompson Date: created: Sep 12 2023

How to Say Goodbye to a Loved One

Prepare early, Take time to think about what you want to say and who you want to say it to. You’ll have different goodbyes for different circumstances. Sometimes the ending is a death, sometimes it’s another type of parting. Don’t delay saying what you mean until the last moment. Expect emotions. You might cry, and that’s OK. Or sometimes we laugh because we can’t cry, at least not yet. Expect your emotions; they have a way of catching you off guard.

There are many ways to say goodbye. Some of the most common are:

“I love you.” These three words are one of the greatest phrases to use in goodbyes. Practice saying them. “I forgive you.” or “I’m sorry.” These are powerful goodbye words and can transform you and the person who receives them for a lifetime. “Thank you” is another comforting goodbye phrase. When it’s used within a significant, shared story, it honors what made your relationship unique and meaningful. “I understand you need to go.” You may not be able to tell your loved one it’s OK for them to go, but perhaps you can tell them you understand they need to go. It will never feel OK to you. But sometimes people are waiting for a cue that they can go. People who are dying may not feel they can pass if they are too worried about how the family will cope without them.

Sometimes people say, “We don’t do goodbyes, we do ‘See you laters.” That counts, as long as you all really know what you are saying, and you’re not skirting around an important message. Goodbye has the etiology of meaning, “God be with you,” so saying goodbye is bestowing a blessing.

  • And for a person whose faith tradition anticipates seeing one another again after a parting or after a death, “see you later” rings true.
  • Take hints from your loved one.
  • You can ask, “Is there anything that would be most important to you to talk about today?” Take your cues from your own inner self.
  • What do you most need to hear? That may be the best clue about what you might need to say.

Sometimes the most touching gesture you can offer are no words at all—just being there, a hug, holding a hand, rubbing a shoulder, crying. Saying goodbye is an important signal to your loved ones and recognizes an ending point in your journey together.

  • It also signifies we can say goodbye and still be all right.
  • We’re now at the fork in the road, and it’s OK to travel separately because we’ve each had the pleasure of traveling together for a time that mattered.
  • It’s a way of saying, “Thank you, I’ll be OK, and you’ll be OK.” Your words may be an essential gift of peace to someone who is worrying if you can handle their leaving.

Are you concerned about saying goodbye too soon? If you say your heartfelt goodbye and see your loved one again, it’s a gift. In 1981, Hospice of the Red River Valley was founded on the belief that everyone deserves access to high-quality end-of-life care.

  • We fulfill our nonprofit mission by providing medical, emotional, personal and spiritual care, as well as grief support to our patients, their families and caregivers during a tender time in life.
  • Our staff helps those we serve experience more meaningful moments through exceptional hospice care, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, wherever a patient calls home.

The organization serves more than, including in and around Bismarck, Detroit Lakes, Devils Lake, Fargo, Fergus Falls, Grand Forks, Lisbon, Thief River Falls, Valley City and many more communities. Hospice of the Red River Valley offers round-the-clock availability via phone, prompt response times and same-day admissions, including evenings, weekends and holidays.

How do you tell a dying person it’s OK to go?

Speak soothing words – When you do want to convey a message to your loved one speak softly and use words that help him with his inner work of letting go. You can remind him that you love him, that he has lived a good life, you will remember him, and it’s okay for him to let go when he is ready.