Asked By: Jake Patterson Date: created: Mar 02 2024

What to do when someone owes you money and ignores you

Answered By: Curtis Davis Date: created: Mar 05 2024

What Can You Do If Someone Owes You Money and Refuses to Pay? – Preston Redman Solicitors Whether you are a business or an individual, if you are owed money by someone who refuses to pay there are a multitude of legal options to help you. It is always recommended to try to informally settle your dispute first.

  • Firmly reminding the business or individual that they owe you money, why and how much is often enough to resolve many debts.
  • In the best-case scenarios, you can come to an agreement on repayment that works for both sides.
  • If you can’t come to an agreement personally, you can try a mediation service.
  • If they still refuse to pay, don’t let the situation get heated.

Depending on how much you are owed, there are legal routes you can go down. This includes making an official demand, issuing a County Court claim, and much more. We always recommend seeking expert at an early stage as this can significantly boost your chances of securing repayment quickly and relatively painlessly.

How to shame someone?

‘You’ll never be as good as me with the guitar,’ ‘You’re just slow at reading,’ ‘You shouldn’t feel that way,’ and ‘Your sister was much more advanced in reading when she was your age,’ are just a few examples of such shaming.

How do you get money from someone who owes you?

Laws Take Legal Action for Someone Not Paying Money Back – In most cases, the person who is owed money has the option to take legal action. This may include filing a lawsuit, contacting a debt collector, or requesting that the money be transferred to a bank account.

Make sure you have all of the information necessary to file a lawsuit. This includes the name of the person who owes you money, the amount that is owed, and any documentation that supports your claim (e.g. canceled checks, emails) Try to negotiate with the person who owes you money. If they are willing to pay back what they owe you in full, it may be easier to avoid taking legal action. If they refuse to pay, however, it may be necessary to file a lawsuit Contact a debt collector if the person who owes you money does not respond to your attempts to negotiate or take legal action. Debt collectors are hired by companies and individuals to collect debt obligations. They may be able to give you more information about how to proceed with your

You can use our GST calculator to know how much GST you owe before you register.

Is it rude to ask for money someone owes you?

Best ways to politely ask for money owed to you You’ve probably heard of “lend only the money you can actually afford to lose”. The thing is when friends or family approach you asking for some money, you give it to them without much thought, assuming that they will pay back in due time to preserve relations.

  • However, things cannot always be left to chance or assumptions, and it can get pretty awkward repeatedly hounding a friend or relative especially to pay back what they owe you.
  • Most polite ways to ask someone to pay you back
  • How shall we go about it then? Consider the following:
  • A polite reminder (or two)

It’s perfectly normal for people to forget that they owe someone money, especially when the amount isn’t too big. In this case, a simple reminder may be all that’s needed. Be straightforward yet polite, courteous and understanding, using friendly and informal language to remind your friend, associate or loved one that they owe you money.

  1. If they don’t bring up the subject themselves, you can ask them in a “by the way” manner to let them know that you’re patiently waiting on the payment.
  2. Be a little flexible
  3. If someone is unable to pay you according to what was agreed to, then you might want to offer them flexible terms and let them pay the debt back in instalments.
  4. Unpaid debt can really strain relationships, especially if it’s a large amount (£1000 and above) between friends or family members, so consider extending the term or at least offer to let them pay you back in chunks.
  5. Send them a text message or email
  6. This may not be the best approach if you run into the person from time to time, but if he/she is away from you for several weeks or months at a time, you can send them a message or email along the lines of: “I hope this email finds you well – if you recall, I lent you a sum of and I was wondering when you can pay it back”.
  7. The next round is on them!
  8. This can work remarkably well for small debts, so you can always ask your friend, associate or co-worker to pay for the next meal or round of drinks when you’re all out.

If anything, they should be happy to oblige as it will reduce their debt. Naturally, you’d want to be as polite and gentle about it as possible! If you’ve lent someone £1000 or more and haven’t had much luck with the above methods then perhaps it’s time to get in touch with an award-winning debt recovery agency like Cobra:,

Asked By: Jaden Washington Date: created: Oct 20 2023

What do you say to someone who won’t pay you back

Answered By: Graham Wilson Date: created: Oct 23 2023

Highlight your own financial needs – The worst part about not receiving your money back is that you are out of pocket. Although you loaned that money willingly, you also need it back to maintain your financial health. When it comes to how to remind someone to repay you, highlighting your own financial position to them may nudge them to pay you back.

– Explain that you would really appreciate it if the person could repay the money as soon as possible as you have bills. – Let them know that the loan was time sensitive and that you did it to help them out as a temporary measure. It was a loan, not a gift. – Mention that you don’t like getting into debt and like being free from debt where possible.

– Share other financial burdens you may have. This isn’t to make them feel guilty but to make them aware that you have financial commitments and goals, too and getting your money back is essential.

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Should you confront someone who owes you money?

If They Owe You Money, Remember to Ask for Repayment Directly – If you haven’t heard from your friend who owes you money in a while, call them to see how they’re doing. Then, once you catch up, ask for loan repayment directly. Keep it short and sweet while matching their tone and demeanor.

  • Gently remind them of the amount owed and your agreed-upon repayment terms.
  • Don’t forget to tell them what you need to use the funds for, especially if you have to handle any immediate expenses.
  • Although they should pay you back without extra prompting, appealing to their emotions may encourage them to pay you back faster.

If they agree to repayment, meet up at a casual place to settle the debt and catch up with your old friend. When you talk to your friend about repaying what they owe you, they’re likely to claim that they don’t have the money at that time. If that’s the case, you can work around their financial woes by setting up a payment plan,

Asked By: Aaron Gonzalez Date: created: Jun 18 2024

How do you confront someone about not paying you

Answered By: Reginald Stewart Date: created: Jun 18 2024

Call out the fact that it’s becoming A Thing. – If you’ve already asked a few times and they’ve definitely not forgotten about it, you don’t need to take them at their word when they swear that they’ll pay you back tomorrow. It’s totally reasonable to ask them what their deal is.

  • What to say: “I hate to keep bugging you about this, but I really need to be paid back for the drinks from last month.
  • I’m not sure what’s going on, but can you just Venmo me right now?” (A good option if the conversation is happening in person.) “Hey, when we talked the other day, you said you’d pay me back on Friday.

We’ve been going back and forth about this for weeks now what’s going on?” Ideally, the person will be honest with you about what is going on—maybe they got hit with some unexpected expenses, or a check they were waiting for didn’t arrive—and you can figure out a plan for them to pay you back. If they continue to be cagey about it or blow you off, you’re absolutely justified in continuing to bug them about it. It’s extremely OK to want your money back! If someone tries to dodge your request with a shamey, “It’s just $20, chill,” you can say something like, “If it’s just $20, then why won’t you give it back?” You don’t have to drop the subject to keep the peace (or ever loan them money ever again).

What is a shame tactic?

Shame & Shaming /

  • Definition:
  • Shaming – The difference between blaming and shaming is that in blaming someone tells you that you did something bad, in shaming someone tells you that you are something bad.
  • Feeling Deeply Stained

Shaming is a technique used by abusive people to divert attention away from their own behavior and issues by putting pressure on a victim so they can maintain control. The victim is put into an impossible situation, where they feel they are inherently flawed and so can never measure up to the standards being imposed on them, and therefore must dedicate themselves to attempting to make up for their ‘badness’.

  1. Some examples of shaming statements include:
  2. “You were a mistake””You could never do what he/she does””You’ve ruined my life””We are all disappointed in you”
  3. “Shame on You!”
  • How it Feels
  • If you have been subjected to Shaming or Emotional Blackmail then it is likely that you have been living in a FOG of Fear, Obligation and Guilt
  • Fear – that if you don’t do what this person wants there will be hell to pay.
  • Obligation – you are somehow made to feel indebted to this person – you believe you owe them something even though you have taken nothing from them.
  • Guilt – you are unworthy – you have broken some unwritten rules – rules which you never agreed to and which were never fully justified or explained to you.
  • Characteristics of Adults Shamed In Childhood

The following is quoted from Shame & Guilt: Masters of Disguise by Jane Middelton-Moz, Ph.D.1. Adults shamed as children are afraid of vulnerability and fear exposure of self.2. Adults shamed as children may suffer extreme shyness, embarrassment and feelings of being inferior to others.

  • They don’t believe they make mistakes.
  • Instead they believe they are mistakes.3.
  • Adults shamed as children fear intimacy and tend to avoid real commitment in relationships.
  • These adults frequently express the feeling that one foot is out of the door, prepared to run.4.
  • Adults shamed as children may appear either grandiose and self-centered or seem selfless.5.

Adults shamed as children feel that, “No matter what I do, it won’t make a difference; I am and always will be worthless and unlovable.” 6. Adults shamed as children frequently feel defensive when even minor negative feedback is given. They suffer feelings of severe humiliation if forced to look at mistakes or imperfections.7.

Adults shamed as children frequently blame others before they can be blamed.8. Adults shamed as children may suffer from debilitating guilt. These individuals apologize constantly. They assume responsibility for the behavior of those around them.9. Adults shamed as children feel like outsiders. They feel a pervasive sense of loneliness throughout their lives, even when surrounded with those who love and care.10.

Adults shamed as children project their beliefs about themselves onto others. They engage in mind-reading that is not in their favor, consistently feeling judged by others.11. Adults shamed as children often feel angry and judgmental towards the qualities in others that they feel ashamed of in themselves.

This can lead to shaming others.12. Adults shamed as children often feel ugly, flawed and imperfect. These feelings regarding self may lead to focus on clothing and makeup in an attempt to hide flaws in personal appearance and self.13. Adults shamed as children often feel controlled from the outside as well as from within.

Normal spontaneous expression is blocked.14. Adults shamed as children feel they must do things perfectly or not at all. This internalized belief frequently leads to performance anxiety and procrastination.15. Adults shamed as children experience depression.16.

Adults shamed as children lie to themselves and others.17. Adults shamed as children block their feelings of shame through compulsive behaviors like workaholism, eating disorders, shopping, substance-abuse, list-making or gambling.18. Adults shamed as children often have caseloads rather than friendships.19.

Adults shamed as children often involve themselves in compulsive processing of past interactions and events and intellectualization as a defense against pain.20. Adults shamed as children are stuck in dependency or counter-dependency.21. Adults shamed as children have little sense of emotional boundaries.

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They feel constantly violated by others. They frequently build false boundaries through walls, rage, pleasing or isolation. Characteristics of Shame-Based Adults in Relationships: 1. We lose ourselves in love.2. When we argue, we fight for our lives.3. We expend a great deal of energy in mind-reading. We frequently talk to ourselves about what our partners are feeling and needing more than to our partners.4.

We pay a high price for those few good times.5. We often sign two contracts upon commitment, one conscious and another which is unconscious.6. We blame and are blamed.7. We want them gone, then fight to get them back.8. We know it will be different but expect it to be the same.9.

  1. We often feel that our partners are controlling our behavior.10.
  2. We are frequently attracted to the emotional qualities in another that we have disowned in ourselves.11.
  3. We often create triangles in relationships.12.
  4. We seek the unconditional love from our partners that we didn’t receive adequately in a shaming childhood.

Source: Shame & Guilt: Masters of Disguise by Jane Middelton-Moz, Ph.D. What NOT to do

  • Don’t believe what a Shamer tells you. Nobody who truly loves you will want you to feel bad about yourself.
  • Don’t argue or debate with a Shamer – if someone is trying to shame you then they are not interested in seeking the truth. Save your arguments for a time when they are ready to listen with respect.
  • Don’t stay in the same room with a person who is trying to shame you. Remove yourself politely and tell them you’ll be back when they are ready to treat you with respect.
  • Don’t give into their demands – if you give them what they want when they use shame you might as well say to them “keep doing it”. Instead wait until they are ready to speak respectfully to you and then tell them you will negotiate on what you BOTH want.

What TO do

  • If you find yourself questioning the shame another person is dumping onto you then it is quite likely that the problem is with them – not with you. Healthy people don’t go around dumping shame on others.
  • Confront the Shamer gently and tell them, “I am choosing not to accept what you have said because I believe it is not true. Please stop speaking this way as it hurts me and I will be compelled to remove myself from your presence whenever you speak this way.” Then end the conversation right there.
  • Surround yourself with healthy people who will tell it like it is with kindness. Find a few supportive friends or trusted acquaintances who can reality check both your self-perception and any shaming statements you have internalized.
  • Get out from under the control of a Shamer if at all possible. Remove yourself from their influence, their poison tongue or their manipulative behaviors – that’s not a healthy place to be for anybody and shame never brought out the best in anybody.
  • Write down the qualities you like about yourself. Remind yourself you have gifts and talents and that you are unique in this world.

/ / : Shame & Shaming

Asked By: Patrick Henderson Date: created: May 01 2024

How long should shame last

Answered By: Norman Flores Date: created: May 03 2024

What Is Toxic Shame? Toxic shame is a feeling that you’re worthless. It happens when other people treat you poorly and you turn that treatment into a belief about yourself. You’re most vulnerable to this type of poor treatment during childhood or as a teen.

When you feel toxic shame, you see yourself as useless or, at best, not as good as others. These two emotions are often confused with one another. You feel guilt when you know that you did something wrong. It can be a helpful emotion when maintaining relationships. can keep you on track when you’ve drifted from your moral standards.

But you feel shame when you believe you’re not enough, usually because parents or peers keep telling you so. Your confidence suffers from this deep-seated emotion that affects the way you see yourself. Guilt tells you, “That thing you did was wrong.” Shame tells you, “Because you did that thing, you’re a bad person.” You probably have felt and will continue to feel shame at various times in your life.

They reassured you that it was all right and cleaned up without making a fuss.They lashed out at you and said things like, “Why do you always do this? What’s wrong with you?”

The second reaction would probably have led you to believe that there was something wrong with you. Your feeling of shame can turn into toxic shame when the second scene keeps repeating. Other repeated phrases that can cause toxic shame, depending on the incident, are:

“Why are you doing it like that? You’re wrong.””What were you thinking?””You’ll never be as good as them.”

If you’re told these things often enough, you might start to tell yourself, for example, “I’m not worthy of love.” And holding onto feelings of unworthiness can be to your mental and physical health. Shame is behind these two common symptoms:

Withdrawal, You might want to curl up in a ball and disappear when you feel shame. Shame makes us feel like we’re not good enough, and all we want to do is hide away. Anger. Because you feel emotional pain, you become angry to try to aim your pain away from yourself.

Toxic shame has also been linked to substance abuse, eating disorders, and self-harm. These unhealthy coping mechanisms can serve as an escape from your emotional pain or inability to face yourself. ‌You may also become a perfectionist or have unrealistic expectations in your attempt to avoid being shamed again.

It’s possible to overcome toxic shame and change the way you think. is key to the process. You also need self-awareness, mindfulness, and patience. Try these tips to overcome toxic shame. Face the root of your shame. It’s important to understand and examine your feelings.

Find the cause of your shame in order to move forward. Become aware of how you talk to yourself. Try to observe your own thoughts but not react to them. Have compassion for yourself. Everyone has flaws and makes mistakes. Even if it seems like your mistakes were huge, accept that you’re only human. Learn from the past, but don’t get stuck in it.

Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness and meditation can work wonders as you learn to observe your thoughts. Feeling shame forces you to react, so it can be very powerful to just notice your thoughts and question them. Recognize when you’re feeling shame. Mindfulness can help alert you to when you’re feeling shame.

How long should you wait for someone to pay you back?

It Depends on What You Agreed Upon – “Reminding them to pay you back really depends on your original agreement,” said Craig Miller, a psychologist and the co-founder of, “For instance, if your friend borrowed money from you and promised to pay you back after a month, then the first reminder for payment should come after a month.

How do you ask someone to pay you back without being awkward?

Be understanding, without taking things personally. – While asking for your money back, you should be considerate of your friend’s potential financial situation, whether or not you know about it directly. Gottsman underlines the importance of being aware of income differences and priorities when it comes to spending.

“Most people have a variety of incomes and being respectful of each other’s circumstances is the key,” she says. Of course, this advice goes beyond a specific instance in which one friend owes another money. “The key to successful friendships between people with different incomes is empathy,” Packer says.

Money does not need to be a problem among friends if you can respect each other’s boundaries and priorities. It’s also important to not assign personal meanings to something as impersonal as money. Lauren Greutman, a frugal living expert and the author of “Recovering Spender,” suggests that you isolate yourself and your relationship while asking for your money back.

  1. I would try to take the emotions out of it completely,” she says.
  2. While etiquette experts advocate for in-person conversations, she suggests writing a letter or email.) “You can get into your own financial situation if you wish, but I don’t believe that you necessarily owe it to that person,” Greutman adds.
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If you aren’t seeing your friend in the near future and you’re on a tight deadline for that money, Woroch suggests approaching the ask casually and not putting too much meaning into it. “Send a text as a friendly reminder along with your account name for Venmo, PayPal or Zelle.

Asked By: Jake Hernandez Date: created: Dec 21 2023

How do I ask someone to pay me nicely

Answered By: Landon White Date: created: Dec 21 2023

3. Try calling – If emails aren’t working and you have the client’s phone number, call to discuss payment. Remember, reminders are better when the client is still likely to remember you (pun intended). Your invoice emails are not effective if:

The payment is already one month past due. You’ve sent at least two emails. The client hasn’t discussed a payment plan with you, much less of paying.

A short, direct, and polite call with the client should be able to resolve the issue that email hasn’t been able to. On a phone call, you’ll be able to reach an agreement for finalizing your payment quicker than emailing back and forth. During the call, speak in a friendly tone—talk clearly but don’t raise your voice or get sarcastic.

Now is also not the time to get emotional. Just give the client the benefit of the doubt (by not accusing them outright of not paying you). Simply confirm that you’re speaking to the right person, introduce yourself, and say why you’re calling. Before the call ends, state the terms of your business agreement before the call ends.

If you’re nervous or bothered about what to say on the call, start with something like this:

How long should you wait for someone to pay you back?

It Depends on What You Agreed Upon – “Reminding them to pay you back really depends on your original agreement,” said Craig Miller, a psychologist and the co-founder of, “For instance, if your friend borrowed money from you and promised to pay you back after a month, then the first reminder for payment should come after a month.

Asked By: Howard Perez Date: created: Jun 09 2023

How do you deal with someone you owe

Answered By: Gerld Smith Date: created: Jun 10 2023

What if I can’t afford to repay the debt? – If you’ve borrowed money from a family member or friend and you can’t afford to pay them back, you should first talk to them so they’re aware of your situation. They may be able to offer help by letting you spread your payments out, or give you some time to sort things out.

It can be difficult to talk to someone about this, as there’s a chance you could fall out with a family member or lose a close friend because of the money. If you can’t afford to pay your family member or friend back, don’t ignore them. If you stop seeing them, they may just assume you have no intention of paying them back at all.

Instead, tell them why you can’t afford to pay them back. Be honest. Explain what you have coming in and what essential costs you need to pay. You could even show them a copy of your household budget, That way, they can see why you can’t pay them back faster.

Asked By: Gerld Young Date: created: Jul 26 2023

What is the feeling that someone owes you

Answered By: Hayden Miller Date: created: Jul 26 2023

We’ve all met people who have a sense of entitlement. Maybe it’s that person who tried to cut in front of you at the coffee shop. Perhaps it was someone who demanded to be seated before you at a busy restaurant without a reservation. Simply put, people with a sense of entitlement think the rules don’t apply to them,

The environment you grew up in The way your parents treated you Whether adults solved your problems for youHow you are treated by authority figures

The environment you’re raised in can affect how you see the world and what you expect from other people. It can even affect personal and professional relationships. People with an entitlement mentality often see themselves as superior to others. It’s no surprise that this way of thinking affects interpersonal relationships.

Conflict in relationships Unhappiness Disappointment Depression

Your career may suffer, too. Entitled people often interview well and can land leadership roles because of their confidence. However, they often lack team spirit and avoid problem-solving in the workplace. Most of the decisions an entitled person makes are self-serving.

When you’re entitled, you’re always vulnerable to the threat of unmet expectations. When your expectations aren’t met, it can lead to dissatisfaction and other emotions like anger and a sense of being cheated. When you’re distressed, you try to fix the situation and console yourself. This results in self-reassurance that you deserve everything you’ve ever wanted, which reinforces the same entitled behavior.

If you find you have a sense of entitlement, there are ways to change your mindset. Practicing gratitude and humility can help you become more responsible and considerate. If you’re trying to overcome an entitlement mentality, start with the following tips.

The golden rule. Practice treating others as you would like to be treated. Regardless of social status, we are all human. Recognize that not all situations are unfair. If you’re in a situation you think is unfair, pause for a minute and think about the greater good. Is it right that because you’re paying tuition you must get a good grade? Consider how the world would look if no one else had to work for their grades.

Respect. Use respect and kindness when interacting with others. Everyone is a human being with feelings and struggles of their own. Go easy on others. Be sympathetic to their needs. ‌ Learn from your mistakes. Treat failure as a learning tool. Failing isn’t the end of the world.