Asked By: David Flores Date: created: Mar 12 2023

Why do I feel repulsed by my husband

Answered By: David Campbell Date: created: Mar 15 2023

4. There is abuse in the relationship – In many cases, feeling disgusted by your husband’s touch points to a resolvable issue, such as an emotional disconnection within the marriage. However, it is also possible that your lack of desire for his touch is because of a more serious issue, including physical and/or psychological abuse in the relationship.

Why is my wife not turned on?

She may have health issues affecting her libido. – Many health issues can affect a woman’s sexual desire, from diabetes to chronic pain conditions to cancer. Hormonal changes, which can start as early as your 20s, can also be root causes of low sex drive,

  1. And lots of different health issues and life circumstances can affect your hormones, as can taking hormonal birth control (i.e., the pill).
  2. All that said, unless your wife has a known health condition that she’s currently managing—or she’s had a very sudden and significant change in her sex drive—don’t assume that her lack of interest in having sex with you means something is medically wrong with her.

Start by considering and working through any and all interpersonal, emotional, and relationship issues. Addressing these issues will likely buoy your sex life naturally. What to do about it: If you’ve talked about all the other reasons on this list and mutually feel great about your relationship (talk to her about this—don’t assume!), then it’s worth her talking to her doctor.

  • Or if your wife does have a known medical issue, talk to each other about how your sex life might be being affected and ways you can work together to keep your sex life healthy.
  • She can also talk to her doctor to see what options are available to support her libido.
  • Just be sensitive to what she’s going through: If she’s dealing with a significant illness or painful condition, for example, it may not be appropriate to push for more sex at this time.

You can bring up your feelings about the importance of sex in your relationship so that she knows and can let you know what she has the capacity for. You can be honest while also being flexible and compassionate.

Asked By: Gilbert Simmons Date: created: Jan 19 2024

Why am I feeling detached from my partner

Answered By: Matthew Bennett Date: created: Jan 22 2024

Feeling distant from your partner can happen to anyone. Understanding the contributing factors and opening up a conversation can help you feel more connected. Various factors can cause you to feel further away from your partner; it can also signal that your relationship has moved into a space that’s negatively affecting both of you individually and your relationship.

The distance can make you feel lonely and question the future of your relationship. Whether you’re in a new relationship or have been with someone a long time, there are ways you can approach conversations with your significant other when you aren’t feeling connected. Lack of trust may lead to feeling distant from your partner, especially if you previously had trust for them and lost confidence in them.

Losing trust could come from not abiding by agreed rules for the relationship, such as infidelity, or it could be that your partner has suddenly been less open than you. A 2020 study examining the concept of trust through cellphone snooping behavior suggests that lack of trust leads to emotional instability, conflict, and the intent to break up in romantic relationships.

a change in social roles within the relationshipemotional upheavalinterpersonal distancechanged relationship with self

If you or your partner has a mental health disorder, this does not necessarily indicate the end of your relationship. Trying to adopt coping strategies that are positive and supportive may help you feel more connected. We live in a world where a variety of things can be distractions.

For example, going out to dinner but scrolling on your cellphone instead of talking with your partner can be a missed opportunity for connection. Mindfulness and conscious attention to the here and now can help improve communication in your relationships and your overall well-being. Long-distance relationships present unique challenges.

If you’re in this type of relationship, physical and sexual intimacy may be less common. Long-distance relationships may also cause relationship uncertainty and feelings of loneliness, according to research from 2017. It may be challenging to be apart from your partner for long periods without an in-person connection, but that doesn’t automatically mean long-distance relationships are negative situations with negative outcomes.

You may need to find creative and unique ways to connect with your partner. This may look different than couples who live together or are closer to each other. Having different schedules can be hectic and take a toll on your time together. For example, if you work nights and your partner works the day shift, it could be difficult to find those right moments for quality time together because of your sleep schedules.

If you have different work schedules, intentionally carving out quality time together can provide moments to connect. Most people may think of intimacy as sex, but intimacy also involves feelings of openness, connectedness, and vulnerability with your partner.

Sex can be part of intimacy but so can being emotionally connected with your partner. Sharing your feelings and thoughts without judgment is part of intimacy as well. Without some level of intimacy with your partner, you may likely feel distant. Any violence or abuse in a relationship will likely leave you feeling distant from your partner.

Violent and abusive behavior isn’t conducive to a trusting, open, or positive relationship. If you’re in this type of relationship, you may likely avoid your partner at all costs out of fear and for safety reasons. If you’re in an abusive situation, consider seeking professional help and support.

Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 24 hours a day at 800-799-7233Contact by texting LOVEIS to 22522 or calling 866-331-9474Visit the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence for a list of resources

If you feel distant from your partner, you may choose to approach them and find a solution. Here are a few suggestions to consider:

What is the first wife syndrome?

DISCUSSION – The present study reveals significant differences between women in polygamous and monogamous marriages in the following parameters: Marital satisfaction, SE and life satisfaction, indicating less subjective well-being for polygamous women.

Likewise, as indicated in Tables ​ 2 and ​ 3, many of the mental health symptoms were more common for polygamous women; particularly noteworthy were somatization, obsessive compulsive, interpersonal sensitivity, depression, hostility psychoticism and the GSI. Findings from the current study regarding polygamy among Syrians’ women is consistent with previous studies conducted in UAE, Kuwait, Egypt, Jordan, the Gaza Strip, Arabs in Israel, Palestine and Turkey which point out that the wives in polygamous marriages have reportedly more psychosocial, familial and economic problems compared to their counterparts from monogamous families.

A recent Turkish study found out that the participants from polygamous families, especially senior wives, reported more psychological distress. A study conducted in Egypt found that following their husbands’ second marriage, senior wives in polygamous families experience a major psychological crisis, which manifests itself in somatic complaints as well as in psychological symptoms such as anxiety, depression and irritability.

Following this finding the author suggests the generation of a new cultural specific psychiatric diagnosis, the “First Wife Syndrome”. Furthermore, in polygamous spousal relationships, it is quite commonly reported that the patriarchal nature of polygamy leads not only to women’s subordination, but also to their sexual, physical and emotional abuse at the hands of their husbands.

The economics of polygamy are particularly problematic. The level of Syrian economic development is very low. Even in the oil rich Persian Gulf region Al-Toniji found that 75% of the participants agreed that the polygamist husband faced economic problems due to the need to pay for two houses.

  • Nevertheless, there are demographic imperatives that occasionally encourage the practice.
  • Polygamy’s evident characteristic of competition and jealousy among co-wives is commonly observed within plural marriage communities.
  • This seems predictable, as co-wives are likely to have very limited private time with the lone husband they share, and thus might vie for his attention and favor.

In some polygamous communities, women’s self-worthiness is linked to the number of children they bear and, therefore, having time with their husband is also critical to promote their status within the family and community. Studies showed that in certain contexts, jealousy between co-wives can escalate to intolerable levels, resulting in physical injuries sustained by the women, and suicide attempts amongst the women.

Families living together in crammed and overcrowded conditions, can create an environment that aggravates stress and conflict between co-wives. Previous research reveals significant implications regarding children’s lower academic achievements, and men’s psychological problems, amongst polygamous marriages.

The practice has implications for entire familial structures, and for current and future families and communities. Results of the current study supported the “First Wife Syndrome” wherein first wives in polygamous families experience a major psychological crisis that manifests physically as well as psychologically.

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Indeed the present findings show that first wives in polygamous families experience more anxiety, paranoid ideation and psychoticism compare to second and third wives. Moreover, first wives also reported on more family problems and less SE than second and third wives. Women in the Arab world are more likely to experience depression, anxiety disorders, and somatization.

Upon hearing that the husband had married again, the focus groups thought senior wives should only have their children’s future in mind, despite the disapproval of their polygamous state. Senior wives in polygamous marriages in the Bedouin-Arab society in the Negev, Israel suffered more than monogamous wives from low SE, loneliness, and other emotional problems.

  • A study conducted in rural Cameroon revealed that junior wives are more satisfied with their marriage than senior wives.
  • Chaleby points out that in the psychiatric service in Kuwait there are more senior than junior wives under psychiatric treatment.
  • Another study by Chaleby revealed that senior wives relate their psychiatric symptoms to their husbands’ subsequent marriages.

One major way that Arab women convey psychological distress is somatization. Previous research confirmed that senior wives in polygamous marriages may exhibit body aches, headaches, insomnia, fatigue, and nervousness. When an Arab woman expresses somatic and psychological complaints, the practice of polygamy may be a causal factor.

Likewise, somatization is evidence that there may be a variety of underlying psychological problems. The particular means through which somatization is conveyed vary across and within community and culture; the decoding process therefore is vital. It is essential for practitioners to be able to recognize and interpret these symptoms, particularly in relation to the potential underlying possibility of polygamous family structure as an implicating factor.

Gender constructions of women as self-sacrificing wives and mothers who do not complain may in turn exacerbate the likelihood of the sorts of symptomatology revealed in this study. Women are frequently not consulted when a man opts to assume a junior wife; the powerlessness of that lack of choice and the possibility of fewer familial social and economic resources can cause distress.

In Egypt, Philips found that while permission is required from the first wife, few women actually give the husbands their consent to marry a second wife. In Kuwait, many men marry again without consulting or telling their wives, and roughly half of the participants from a recent survey did not agree to tell their wives about their re-marrying.

In Islam, it is important that the husband tell his first wife whenever he plans to marry again. From the Islamic perspective there are several rules that must be followed by men who choose to practice polygamy. The Koran says “Marry women of your choice two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to treat justly with them, then only one.

That will be more suitable to prevent you from evil” (Koran, 4:3). If a man cannot treat each of his wives equally, then he should only take one wife. Another verse says “You will never be able to deal justly between wives however much you desire (to do so). But (if you have more than one wife) do not turn altogether away (from one) leaving her in suspense” (Koran, 4:129).

This may be the result of men acting without reference to the teachings of Islam – and in particular, the imperative to treat all wives equally, and to assume a second wife only if economically feasible. Abdu Salaam pointed out that 71% of Kuwaiti women respondents reported that men could not do justice or be fair between their wives.

  • The same study showed that 50% of the men agreed that they cannot do justice between the wives.
  • The present research points out some concerns in relation to the degree of agreement with the practice of polygamy.
  • The majority from both groups of women does not agree with polygamy.
  • Only a small percent agree with the practice of polygamy under some circumstances, or agree.

One important difference was that about 4.6% of the polygamous participants agree with the practice of polygamy, compared to 0% of their counterparts. Those women who practice it may seek to legitimate polygamy as a way of coping with the associated problems in their lives.

  • Moreover, the notion of self-sacrifice has a cultural and political dynamic in the Arab culture, and the need to maintain a relationship for the sake of the children is a significant motivator for many women.
  • In conclusion, practitioners and policy makers need to be aware of the psychological, familial and economic effects of polygamy on women and their children.

As the results point out higher marital distress in a polygamous family may in turn exacerbate the negative role modeling and impede children’s growth and achievements. It should be noted that this manuscript serves as a voice for women in polygamous marriages and raises the question of mental health of people where polygamy is practiced.

What is silent divorce?

Delivering the bare minimum in your relationship? It may be time to reevaluate. The phrase “silent divorce” describes a situation in which there isn’t any apparent dispute—at least from the outside looking in—but there’s not much going on in the relationship.

When a long-term relationship becomes a silent divorce, known as an invisible divorce, the couple no longer functions as before. Rather, they continue the relationship and fulfill the bare minimum of obligations to keep their union together. They often begin to structure their lives so as to spend as little time as possible together.

With little emotional or physical closeness, they become more like flatmates and coworkers. People looking on as friends or social media observers, however, see what for all intents and purposes is a loving couple.

What is superior wife syndrome?

The wife has become the superior spouse; she is responsible for managing every aspect of the family’s life, from financing the mortgage to picking what the kids wear to school. This book is for every wife who wonders why she’s in charge of everything, while her husband lounges on the couch and watches the game.

What is emotional neglect in marriage?

What Is Emotional Neglect in a Marriage? – Emotional neglect occurs when a spouse fails on a regular basis to attend to or respond to their partner’s emotional needs. This is marked by a distinct lack of action by one person toward the feelings of the other, including an absence of awareness, consideration, or response to a spouse’s emotions.

Why do I feel left out in my marriage?

Recap – Loneliness in a marriage can be caused by a number of different things. Family, work, and stress often play a role, but internal factors such as your own unrealistic expectations and fear of vulnerability can also make it hard to connect with your spouse.

Why do I feel lonely and disconnected in my marriage?

Loneliness in relationships and marriages can occur for many reasons and stems from a sense of disconnection, invalidation, resentment, or isolation. Ultimately, anything that results in distance, misunderstanding, or unresolved issues can result in withdrawal and loneliness.

Why do I feel less attracted to my husband?

Reasons Why Attraction May Fade – Below, Dr. Romanoff lists some of the reasons why attraction may fade over time:

Predictability can lead to boredom: Long-term relationships tend to have an element of boredom. As the novelty and excitement of the relationship wear off and safety and stability set in, predictability can turn into boredom, This can cause you to feel less interested in your partner. Physical attraction can fade: Over time, you may no longer find your partner physically attractive anymore. This could happen if you lose the chemistry that existed between the two of you. Or, you may feel unattracted to changes in their body or appearance. Romance may take a backseat: You and your partner may have settled into your daily routine together and gotten very comfortable with each other. Though you may have a high degree of intimacy in terms of your connection, you might not have time for romance. Conflicts can create distance: Conflicts in the relationship can lead to anger, resentment, broken communication, and distance if they’re left unresolved. Conflict can stem from many causes, including finances, parenting decisions, division of responsibilities, or infidelity.

Asked By: Thomas Richardson Date: created: Mar 29 2024

Why do I suddenly not like my husband

Answered By: Lucas Ross Date: created: Apr 01 2024

At some point in their marriage, every woman has had that angry thought – ‘I hate my husband’. It could be because of a fight, feeling unappreciated, or that your husband just does not understand you and your needs. Infidelity and emotional abuse can lead to communication issues in a marriage.

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Of course, hating your husband now and then is part of the experience of living with someone. But if you feel that way constantly in your marriage, there is a marital problem! Every couple has ups and downs. Some accept that nothing can be done and decide to part ways, while others work through it and save their marriage.

Understanding why you feel so much hatred towards your partner might give you a solution. Keep reading to explore all the possible reasons you may feel unloving towards your husband. Scroll down to know more!

Asked By: Jacob Lee Date: created: Feb 16 2024

Why do I feel like my husband doesn’t desire me anymore

Answered By: Dennis Cooper Date: created: Feb 18 2024

Dear Therapist: My Husband Doesn’t Want to Have Sex Anymore Dear Therapist, My husband and I have been married for 30 years and have a mostly happy, friendly, and supportive relationship. His interest in sexual relations declined after our children were born and came to a full stop five years ago.

I have asked him to go to therapy with me on multiple occasions over the past five years. He considered it several times but always declined, stating he just had no interest in a physical relationship. I have encouraged him to discuss our situation with a friend or his physician, but if he has, he hasn’t shared the outcome with me.

After several attempts at negotiation and suggestions to attend therapy, I have resigned myself to the fact that he has zero interest in sex, and even less interest in talking about it. Our life is much more peaceful if I don’t bring it up. Celibacy is not my choice and I miss that portion of our relationship, along with the intimacy, greatly.

So I am at a crossroads: End my celibate marriage even though we are very good friends, parents, and partners? Seek a supplemental relationship? Or sacrifice my own sexuality? Ruby Chicago Dear Ruby, I’m sorry that you’re dealing with such a difficult issue in your marriage. Though you aren’t alone in this—sexual issues are common in marriages—you must feel extremely lonely.

You may also feel rejected, angry, and helpless, especially because you seem to have no explanation for why this is going on. But you don’t have to resign yourself to an untenable sacrifice. So let’s look at what you can do. First, because sex is such a sensitive topic for most people, it will help—at least initially—to focus on the broader dynamic between you and your husband.

  1. You say that you have a “happy” and “supportive” marriage, but imagine for a second that the impasse was about something else significant in a relationship—tensions arising from, say, money, health, boundaries, addiction, or children.
  2. The topic is less important than the fact that you’re saying that you’re suffering greatly, and that your husband won’t discuss your concerns.

Sex or no sex, that’s a significant problem. Given this broader issue, you can shift your approach from trying to change his behavior (whether he’ll have sex) to trying to strengthen your marriage. My hunch is that despite the positive aspects of your marriage that you describe in your letter, you’re both suffering deeply in different ways.

You, of course, are feeling grossly neglected. Your husband, meanwhile, is probably struggling with something so painful or humiliating that he can’t bring himself to deal with it. There are many factors that might be affecting his sex drive—an undiagnosed medical condition, a side effect of a medication, a hormonal imbalance, stress, depression, low self-esteem, trauma, or even problems in your marriage that he hasn’t brought up.

Sometimes, too, a specific change lessens desire—like an emotional issue related to pregnancy or parenthood. (If, for instance, your sex life was good, perhaps he’s had trouble seeing you as both a mother and a romantic partner.) There are also causes of sexless marriages that have nothing to do with sex drive (having a porn addiction, secretly preferring a partner of another gender, having an affair but not wanting to leave the marriage).

Whatever the reason, your husband is probably carrying a heavy burden—and in his own way, he probably feels as alone in his pain as you do. It’s less likely that your husband has no interest in sex (at least, in theory), and more likely that he has no interest in opening what to him might feel like a Pandora’s box.

So back to the broader issue, which is something you can talk to him about. When doing so, try approaching him from a place of curiosity rather than blame. Instead of saying, “I need us to have sex again”—a demand that makes it seem as if he’s the problem—you can say something like, “I don’t want us to have so much conflict around sex, and I certainly don’t want to feel like I’m nagging you.

I just want you to know that I miss feeling close to you, and not just physically. On the one hand, we’re such good friends, and on the other, I feel like there’s a lot we don’t know about each other. Can we talk about what’s going on between us?” In response, he may say, “Nothing’s going on,” but rather than let that be the end of the conversation (as I imagine you’ve both done in the past), you can say, “Something is going on between us if we’re not able to talk about the ways we’re not connecting.

I don’t need you to have sex with me right now, but I do need you to be my partner and talk to me.” Let him know that you’re asking for a conversation because you love him and want your marriage to work. Finally, tell him that if he doesn’t feel comfortable talking to you quite yet, you’re willing to help in any way possible to find a place where he does feel comfortable.

This establishes that you two are a team, and is different from what sounds like a pattern of “negotiating” or “suggesting” to no avail. Here, you’re being vulnerable and compassionate, but direct : This is about how we relate to each other and get through difficulties as a couple. If we can’t work through tough things together—whether that’s sex or anything else—I don’t think we’re going to last.

Hopefully, he’ll be willing to share some of his emotional world with you or with a therapist. If so, you’ll need to be patient during that process and show him that you appreciate his efforts. Instead of saying, “It’s been three months—isn’t the therapy working?,” make sure he knows how much his taking your marriage issues seriously means to you.

However, if he’s not willing to take them seriously, you may need to give some thought to leaving the marriage. If you do end up leaving, it won’t be because your husband shut you out sexually. It will be because he shut you out emotionally. You’ll have done everything you can to save the marriage—but sadly, you can’t save it alone.

Dear Therapist is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

Asked By: Martin Lopez Date: created: Jan 20 2024

Why am I never turned on by my husband

Answered By: Ronald Long Date: created: Jan 23 2024

I’m in love – but not sexually aroused. Can you help? The question I’m very attracted to my partner – we’ve been together for eight years – but I am unable to get physically aroused for sex. It quickly becomes painful, so I avoid it at all costs. He takes it personally and we often fight over it. What’s your advice? The answer You aren’t alone.

  1. Due to the sensitive nature of the topic, many have a hard time discussing their concerns with their partner, or with their doctor.
  2. But approximately 40 per cent of women suffer some form of sexual dysfunction at some point in their lives, with decreased sexual arousal being one of the most common concerns.

Arousal is the response to sexual stimuli that helps increase vaginal lubrication and blood flow to the genital area, making intercourse comfortable and pleasurable. Lowered arousal can trigger an emotional response of avoidance and a reduction in physical response.

This can lead to painful sex, which in turn causes further avoidance. This cycle can lead to a partner feeling frustrated, sad and rejected. The first thing to ask yourself: Are you experiencing decreased arousal specifically with your partner, or in general? If arousal is low in specific situations, you can pinpoint what may be the underlying trigger.

If your arousal is low in all situations – with a partner, or on your own – there may be other potentially reversible causes. There are several things that can affect our sex drive and arousal, both physical and psychological. Physical causes can include pain from infections or dryness, medical conditions such as diabetes, cancer or arthritis, and medications such as antidepressants, oral contraceptives or antihistamines.

  • Hormonal changes such as thyroid dysfunction, low testosterone or menopause can also contribute to decreased drive and arousal.
  • Psychological problems such as depression, anxiety, stress, concern with body image or a history of abuse can contribute to decreased arousal.
  • A visit to your doctor may be helpful to check out these potential causes with some simple investigations or suggestions for medication or counselling.
  • While the physical and psychological causes are important to review, also consider that conflict in your relationship may be contributing to your decreased arousal.
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For many, emotional intimacy is essential for sexual intimacy. Often, decreased arousal is not simply due to a breakdown in intimate communication, but from a larger issue – a loss of trust in your partner, financial or family stressors, or unresolved issues from the past.

  1. To help strengthen your connection with your partner, I suggest:
  2. Increase communication: While this is easier said than done, sharing concerns and having an open and honest discussion can help rekindle your emotional connection and improve intimacy.
  3. Go for counselling: Talking to your doctor or with a therapist trained in sexual health may provide helpful ideas.

Set aside time for intimacy: This might seem contrived, but due to busy schedules, intimacy is often put aside. Schedule time to reconnect. Increase physical comfort during sex: Use of a lubricant can be helpful for vaginal dryness, and pelvic-floor exercises can help increase blood flow to the region and in turn increase lubrication.

Send family doctor Sheila Wijayasinghe your questions at, She will answer select questions, which could appear in The Globe and Mail and/or on The Globe and Mail web site. Your name will not be published if your question is chosen. Q&As from Dr. Wijayasinghe. to see Q&As from all of our health experts. The content provided in The Globe and Mail’s Ask a Health Expert centre is for information purposes only and is neither intended to be relied upon nor to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

: I’m in love – but not sexually aroused. Can you help?

Why don’t I want to be intimate with my husband?

There’s Good News – If you’re wondering the same thing, I have good news! There are many reasons why women may have fluctuating desire for sex in marriage. Children, fatigue, hormones, work, illness, medications, emotions, and stress are some of the obstacles in enjoying or desiring sex.

  • I certainly experienced all of those.
  • But then God began to take me on a journey of healing from my past abortion and my past sexual relationships — even the sexual relationship I had with my husband before we got married.
  • I never imagined that my sexual past could have an impact on me today, but God was showing me that it had.

And with healing, He set me free. Free from the wounds I’d accumulated, free from the lies I’d ingrained, and free from all my past sexual partners that were keeping me from experiencing true intimacy with my husband. Healing set me free to love my husband, and enjoy being loved in return.

Asked By: Diego Thomas Date: created: Jun 28 2023

Why am I not getting turned on by my partner anymore

Answered By: Evan Ross Date: created: Jul 01 2023


Arousal is the process of your body and mind ‘getting ready’ for a sexual encounter, and it can be easily interrupted by anxiety.If you’ve been asking yourself ‘Why am I not getting aroused?’, the short answer is arousal difficulties can be caused by many things, including performance anxiety, negative body image, relationship difficulties, mental health issues, and hormone levels, to name a few.A recent national survey in the UK found that just over 3,500,000 women experienced vaginal dryness, and a similar number of men had trouble getting and maintaining an erection.Sensate Focus, and the mindful attitude it encourages, is a highly effective treatment for sexual arousal difficulties.

Dr Kat says: Arousal is a snapshot in time. If you’re experiencing low arousal right now, it doesn’t mean that things will always be that way. So many things impact your arousal – it can change as easily as it became an issue. If you’ve been experiencing arousal difficulties, you’ll know by now that the way we commonly talk about feeling aroused – getting ‘turned on’ – isn’t actually quite right.

Asked By: Dylan Scott Date: created: Jun 24 2023

Am I emotionally unavailable

Answered By: Diego Collins Date: created: Jun 26 2023

5. They might not empathize with your feelings – Because they tend to “turn off” emotions and have poor insight, people who are emotionally unavailable might also exhibit low empathy — the inability to understand or share someone else’s feelings. In other words, an emotionally unavailable person may not be able to relate to you, put themselves in your shoes, or consider your feelings when making a decision.

  1. This doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t care about your feelings, but they might not have the emotional capability to identify and honor your needs.
  2. Since an emotionally unavailable person isn’t comfortable exploring their own emotions, they might not be able to connect with other people’s emotional needs, either.

“A lack of exploration of one’s own emotional landscape leads to a lack of personal insight, and ultimately, limited comfort with and attunement to others’ feelings,” says Jernigan. There are likely many causes for emotional unavailability. But much of the research on the topic has focused on attachment styles and the early parent/child relationship.

Your first relationships with caregivers may play a key role in emotional intimacy and availability. When caregivers deny affection and emotional support or reprimand the child for emotional expressions, children tend to repeat this pattern in their adult relationships. Those children who don’t experience adequate responses to their emotional needs may be more likely to develop an avoidant attachment style, a form of unhealthy attachment,

This means they’ll tend to be more independent, physically and emotionally, and have a harder time getting intimate with others or relying on them. Jernigan says that “attachment wounds,” such as a history of being abandoned, neglected, or ridiculed, may also lead to emotional unavailability.

  1. These wounds can develop in childhood or later in life.
  2. Staying emotionally distant serves a self-protective purpose in these cases,” she says.
  3. If I don’t have to feel, then I don’t have to feel pain, and if I don’t feel too close to you, then I’m not particularly vulnerable to having my feelings hurt by you.” Avoidant personality disorder, which is different from avoidant attachment style, may also be a cause of emotional unavailability.

In fact, people with this condition behave in a certain way in their relationships, Other factors, such as cultural and gender influences, may play a role in someone’s tendency to be emotionally unavailable. “This doesn’t mean that emotional availability can’t be developed if it doesn’t come naturally, but some differences along a spectrum of comfort with emotions is most likely part of natural human variability,” says Jernigan.

an exaggerated sense of self-importancefeelings of superiority and grandiosity a sense of entitlementa persistent need to be powerful, successful, smart, admired, or lovedpersistent low empathy

Signs of emotional unavailability include fear of intimacy, trouble expressing emotions, and commitment anxiety. “It’s not something you can fix for them, nor is it something they can quickly and easily change about themselves for you,” Jernigan says.

  • Engaging in this process with someone takes time, patience, and compassion.” If you’re in a relationship with someone emotionally unavailable, it’s important to understand that this isn’t something they can turn back on at will.
  • Emotional unavailability can be managed, but it often requires the person to acknowledge this blockage and seek help.

In that case, a mental health professional may be able to support the self-exploratory process with psychotherapy or counseling. This can take years, though. It may be a good idea for you to consider if this is the type of bond that fulfills you. If it isn’t, stepping aside may be the only way to go.

Asked By: Hayden Long Date: created: Aug 23 2023

Why am I numb to love

Answered By: Austin Sanchez Date: created: Aug 25 2023

Frequently Asked Questions About Emotional Numbness – What is the feeling when you don’t feel anything? In general, people describe emotional numbness as feeling empty or dead inside, not caring about anything, and feeling disconnected from oneself and from the people around you.

What is the cause of feeling numb? Feeling emotionally numb commonly arises as an unconscious protective response to feeling difficult emotions, whether due to anxiety, stress or trauma. Experts regard it as a form of dissociation, a process that allows us to unconsciously protect ourselves from emotional pain.

What does it mean when a person is numb? Feeling emotionally numb is associated with a number of mental health disorders, including anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder. Emotional numbness can also be a sign of schizophrenia, depersonalization/derealization disorder, or dissociative identity disorder.

What is turn off in a relationship?

What are some common examples of turn-offs? – Several examples cut across both parties when it comes to turn-offs in relationships. An example is poor hygiene. No partner can put up with a dirty person for too long, as they would get irritated and cranky.